I want to help my little girl, but what can i do..

I have been split from my x2b since my daughter was 1 (she is now 4)There is a strong family history of bipolar on my x2b side of the family(manic depression) although she has always denied having it, she has all the signs.

Im very worried for my daughter as my daughter gets the brunt of my x2b anger and has recently said that "mummy shouts and screams at me".I know she would never hit her.
I ask my daughter what she does when mummy does this and she replies that she hides under her bed.

I have just come back from a fantastic holiday with my daughter, my partner and her children and although there was no "screaming and shouting", i had to tell my little one off on a couple of occasions.

SHe immedietly ran in to the bedroom and "hid" under the bed.

I am very worried that this very messy divorce (x2b had an affair) has really effected my daughter. I have once broached the subject of taking my daughter to the doctors as i am worried about her mental health. The x2b refused point blank to discuss it but i am very worried!

When my daughter is with me, she never mentions her mum, mums partner and little baby brother. I think this is unhealthy.

I suppose what im really looking for on here is some advice. Do i contact the social services (but surely its not that bad), do i go to the doctors behind my x2b back. I am really worried for my daughter and would appreciate ANY feedback or advice

Mad, I would think very carefully before going to the social services, they can be great, but as you will have heard they can also be overzealous.

As you state you have been apart since your daughter was 1. She's now four. At this age they really start to play up and play with adult emotions and reactions. She will push the boundaries and buttons.

perhaps she thinks that you will want to hear that Mummy screams and shouts?

Also you say she has a new baby brother. She will be feeling very insecure about that. Even in a "family unit" of two parents together a new baby can have a dramatic effect on an older sibling. ealousy may be at the route of this. Nothing more and nothing less, but I would suggest that you monitor this, and just take it from there

Good luck

mad,
It is good that you are awaere of potential problem.If she goes to nursery or school ,talk to these people and get feed back.Children will be constant in what they say if it is the truth and she will mention this anywhere.Has your extended family got any access to your little girl ask them to kkep an eye for tell tale signs.If you are really worried I would have a chat with her health visitor ,do not mention about what she says about mum yet but just vi=oice your concern about the heriditary factor.Like ninj mentioned new member of family can have adverce effect on children. If she hides under the bed in other people's place then you should react but for now be vigilant
all the best

madaboutcars,
please no to social services please. I was talking to a journalist who is covering our case, his wife had........ they took his son in care he was beaten and neglected. MR A managed to get his son back, he loves his wife and she agreed to hand over their son as she admitted to the fact that her illness could harm him.
Moving on now I agree I have seen people with this bi-polar they are so un predictable. There is a mom over the road has it and she lost custody for a short time, the children are back living with her now. She is a good mum , the children are getting older now and they will more or less love her even more for who she is just a mum.
What do you think you could do to help your ex ?
Who can you go to with confidence and talk about this get help. My friends husband got manic depression recently diagnosed with it after losing his mother then divorce kicked in all trigger factors send people over the edge . Prior to this his oldest daughter was diagnosed before him. Illness is only a part of someone not all of it we are all human beings with difficult lives to lead.
The children suffer, also you mention a younger child; maybe post-natal depression .
Do a 360 % what do you think you would do if you were in her shoes ?
This is not easy and she did not ask for this medical problem ,like you said it is in the family.Personally I do not like the way they are recently diagnosing bi-polar there is far to much labelling and far too much profit by drug companies.
I should know my cousin will now not answer the fone to her sister who is a psychologist , she took her out for dinner with a colleague and had her assessed for mild schizodphrenia turns out now she had a benign tumor and it is in-operable.That is trigger happy shrinks for you hey !

Thanks for all your replies. To be fair, i didnt even think of the post natel that she may be going through.

My concerns are with my daughter and i know her mum loves her very much. My daughter is a VERY strong willed child (like her mother!!) and when i look at the bigger picture, it could be attention that she is seeking as little brother is (apparently) a very laid back baby (takes after the father).

Im glad i wrote on here as it really makes you see things from a different angle and stops you from jumping in.

I will moniter my little one and see what happens, thanks again lyndamac, mariaa and NHMF.