Moving with my children

Hello

Just wondering if anyone has any words of advice. I am going through a divorce ( been separated 3 years). I have been with someone for the last 18 months.

I am considering moving to live with my boyfriend (this is approx 45 minutes away from where I currently live). The reasons being to offer more support in bringing up our children (My kids and my boyfriends kids- we are the brady bunch) and a much better quality of life as I would be able to reduce my hours at work and be there more for my children. My three children are currently in breakfast and after school club five days a week 8-6 ( they are exhausted most of the time), and I am working 40+ hours a week to keep our current home.

Also I must admit the thought of starting again somewhere new I find very appealing. Myself and my partner would also be able to afford a bigger house, and have the support of my partners family which I currently do not have where I live. It would also allow my partner to see his children more, and we are very lucky that all of our brood enjoy spending time together.

A move would of course involve my children moving schools and be at first unsettling, I am concerned also about the children losing time with their Dad, they love him very much, but he at times is unable to commit to a regular schedule during the week despite a weekly arrangement to have them he has changed it so many times I have lost count. So I end up running around more trying to cover when he cant have the kids with my friends.

He does have the children alternate weekends Fri- Mon, which I envisage would still be able to happen if we did move, we currently share the holidays and this would still be the case if I were to move.

I would also aim to share the burden of the journey and meet him halfway if he needs this.

I know he will be angry by this and although this has no legal baring it was his decision to leave the marriage.

Just wondering what the legal aspects of this are and whether my ex could stop me. I don''t want to rock the boat too much and cause more argument. It has been an acrimonious divorce by all accounts, perhaps why the thought of moving is so appealing.

I would welcome any advice.

thanks

Hi Honeybee, welcome to Wikivorce.

It sounds as though you have put a lot of thought into the possible move, particularly how it may impact on your children, and Dad''s time with them.

Legally, he can''t prevent you from moving, but he can apply for a Prohibited Steps Order to prevent you from moving the children away from their current location - he would need to demonstrate that moving wouldn''t be in their best interests.

It sounds as though you haven''t yet had a serious discussion with him about moving, put together a comprehensive and detailed proposal for contact between the children and the other parent. Include travel arrangements – who will do the travelling and pay for it, ways in which your children and their other parent can keep in touch in-between physical contact, etc. Also include the following information (where appropriate):

The move enables you to secure better employment, and therefore provide a more financially secure future for your child/ren.

· The area you are moving to has better housing, schooling, facilities, quality of life. Put together details of housing, local schools (including Ofsted reports), available activities for your children in the area, crime reports showing that the area is “safer”, details of good health facilities.

· You are moving to be closer to family/your support network – moving closer to family enables your child to have relationships with them.

· Staying in your current location isn’t in your child’s best interests.

Use the Welfare Checklist in Section 1(3) of the Children Act 1989 as your template for providing and putting forward the information to show that the move is beneficial to your children.

You will need to pass on all this information to your ex and discuss the proposed move. If you are finding it difficult to come to an agreement between the two of you, it is worth attempting Family mediation to sort matters out.