Kids and an angry father

Hi, on behalf of a friend...

She's leaving him, but because they can't afford to live in separate places they're sharing the marital home and taking turn about to take the kids at weekends.

They know people who did the same and were told it was like a war zone but they decided to try if for the kids sake as well as the finances.

Two things though - do you think the kids will understand their parents are splitting up given they are still living in the same house ? Even if they don't interact much and split the child care ? They're quite a busy family sport wise so sometimes dad has one of the ids adn mum has the other two, then they swap at lunchtime or join back up in the evening.

But the point my friend wants to get to grips with most is this. He's frustrated and angry at the break up but he's taking that out on the kids to some extent. When he's got something he wants to shout at her for he does it in front of the kids. He doesn't hold back and his language and the anger in his delivery is all to clear.

When she asks him not to do this, it's upsetting the children, he says it's all her fault and he'll do what he wants.

She's tied up in knots because she's trying to protect the kids, she knows she's hurt her husband and feels guilty about that but she hates him for the way he is.

I've suggested they get their Separation Agreement sorted asap, maybe that'll settle a few things, and also that she explains to him it's not acceptable to take it out on the kids and if he wants to play his role as parent anf father he has to do that without trying to upset them as a way of getting back at her.

Anyone got any suggestions ?

Hello Mark

Sounds like my x2b My children grew up with behaviour so dont know any different.

If this is not the guy's normal behaviour, I would suggest your friend asks him to stay elsewhere or that she moves out with the children.

There is no need to drag the children into an arguement. They are purely innocent mites.