Agreeing overnight stays when stbx works late

Hi,

I moved out of the marital home with our 2 kids (3 & 5) 6 weeks ago as staying was unbearable & not a healthy environment for the girls with the arguing & animosity.

We are 5 mins away so stbx can still be involved in their lives, school etc. all was going ok & he had them once overnight in the week on his day off & at the weekend for a day/night if it suited around his rota & social life.

Then I applied for child maintenance & he''s gone off the walk. Demanding he sees the children more, getting them to ask me for more sleepovers at daddy''s & moaning to my family.

I am annoyed that this is all about money but trying to put his stupidity aside & think of what''s best for the girls. When he says have them overnight in the week he doesn''t get home from work until 6.45pm & leaves for work in the morning at 8am so literally would have them to sleep in bed, not feed them, play with them & I would get them back for the school run. Has anyone come across this situation? Can it be beneficial for the kids in any way & would a court support it?

Weekends I appreciate are different & I have said with notice we can agree more access around his activities but again I am expected to drop everything on a Friday when his social plans fall through & he wants them to clock up nights so he pays less.

Any advice most appreciated!

Unfortunately this is the ludicrous way in which the CSA works. Everything seems to hinge on overnight stays, as though that was the only thing of importance when sharing care of your children.

Is it not possible to step back from CMS and agree on a voluntary basis something that works for both of you, so you have the income you need and he does not feel pressurised to do something that is not practical, in having the children more?

Clearly I know nothing about the circumstances and it maybe he was not doing what he should, but for sure my stbx went to CMS out of spite even though I had been paying more than I should because she knew I would suffer due to un-certain bonuses being factored into the award.

I had to fight this and she has ended up with less than before, but my preference would be to be open and honest and renegotiate this year so she has a base level on my basic and only gets a percentage of the quarterly bonuses as and when they are paid.

Anyway.....my circumstances are irrelevant really just saying that if it is not working through official channels CMS told me it is easy to row back and take the family based voluntary route....