Joint Custody - are odds against me?

Hi, Me and wife are on the cusp of filing our divorce papers. We have agreed to go for mediation, which is a good sign. We both work but I am a major earner and she is the major care taker for children. We live in the same house but are seperated in every sense of a marriage for 2 years now. We both love kids (2, 11 yr boy and 7 yr girl) and kids loves us both. I would like to think that I am a very good father in every possible way & want to fully involve in their lives for rest of my life.

Going forward, I have been asking for joint custody (on equal time with both of us) of the children and wife has never said no but I think she is little reluctant for reasons known to her (could be financial, insecurity, mix of these and others).

Last time we spoke about this, she said that I should prove how I am going to manage the children because I come late from work (8pm) and she comes early from her school job. I said we will do everything keeping children in mind. But I could work less, start early/finish early or take the help of child minders. I am sure I would not be the first parent (father either hopefully), who would be taking care of the children that way?

Now my question is if push comes to shove and she does not agree with me, what are my chances of getting the joint custody? Am I unreasonable to demand this? what are my options? Considering their age, does childern have a say in this? For me, life beyond married would be much more worth but only with children.

Thanks

I think a good starting point would be to write down what you think the arrangements for the children could be, factoring in the practical elements as well, such as your long working days, and getting the children to nursery/school. You need to keep it child-focused, and make it about what is best for them, not about what you desire or want.

I can't see why your children should be sent to a childminder when your wife is available to care for the children - it seems an added expense for you.

It's much better to think of shared parenting in terms of sharing care of the children, rather than sharing time - too many focus on the whole 50/50 thing and get so fixated on "equal time" that they lose sight of what is really important - the children.

Keep the lines of communication open with your wife, and be prepared to be flexible, to compromise and to chose any fights very carefully. Family mediation will help you talk to each constructively and to come to an agreement.,