To go to court? Advice desperately needed

My ex wife and I had an amicable agreement on residence and child support payments as soon as we split up. .

Currently I have my son 50/50 and pay a little bit more than the csa calulated. Last year we sold our marital home and split the equity. I moved to my dads house for three months whilst I was waiting for the house to complete. My ex asked for more money. I said I couldn't afford it so she cut my over night stays sighting that my dads house wasn't suitable accommodation for our son. She then demanded more money each month which I was forced to pay to try to stem her going through the csa which would cost me a lot more due to no over night stays.

I then moved into my new house and we got back to 50/50 childcare and I dropped the money back down to the original agreed amount. In the meantime we both moved on to other relationships and she started to get very jealous of my new relationship (my new girlfriend has more money than my ex) so she now quantifies everything myself and my new partner do and sees us as having loads of cash and are then scrimping on what we give her despite the fact we give her the csa calculated amount plus I spend a lot of money on him when he is with me and I also pay 50% towards sports clubs, school trips, clothes, holidays, dinner money etc.

Last week she asked for more money to which I said no. She then told me this week that my son wants to only see me one day each week plus every other weekend. My son has told me that he did not say this and that she told him he wasn't to see me any more than one day a week plus every other weekend. I suspect she now plans to put in a csa claim. I have asked her to be reasonable and amicable for the sake of our son- she said see you in court!

So I have a few questions:

1) As it stands now- I have only lost him for one day - is it worth arguing in court for one day?

2) am I likely to get awarded 50/50 back based on how reasonable I'm trying to be

3) she is having a baby with her new guy and is on maternity leave- will she get legal aid? I suspect she might and this is why she's happy to go to court

4) please can someone explain the court process to me and how it all works. I've tried to do some research but haven't had much luck in getting answers

Bump

Hi,
I don't have any experience with courts, but from what I gather Legal Aid is not available unless there is domestic violence/child safe-guarding issues.
If you have a 50:50 arrangement that she is trying to change, how long has that been in place? If you had a diary of times when your son was with you etc that would help.
How old is your son ?

LB

Check CMS amounts,you may find you are worrying over nothing.

I would also say don't increase your payments any further. It doesn't matter how much you pay it will never be enough.

If she does go via CMS then tell her that the assessed amount is the amount that will be paid. Nothing extra towards school dinners, trips etc as the CMS amount is all inclusive.

How old is your son and how long has the current pattern been established?

Thank you both for your response.

I have been trying to find out whether legal aid is granted to someone on maternity leave but you basically have to instruct a solicitor or mediator to find out. Its not very clear at all.

The 50/50 arrangement has been in place since November 2016. We agreed that I would have him Mondays and Wednesdays and every other Friday Saturday and Sunday. We have a set rota showing the days he is with each of us. The structure has worked really well up until now. I think it would be very clear to a court that she is changing the arrangements out of spite.

My son is 11.

I have been advised that CSA calculations are actually backdated so if she went to the CSA now, they would calculate what I owed her based on the arrangement we have had in place for the last year. Does anyone know if this is definitely correct? If so, she is going to lose out and the new arrangements wouldn't have a knock on effect on my CSA payments until next year.

I have done a CMS calculation and I am actually paying more than they suggested. I wondered about dropping this down now to the CMS suggested amount so she realises she will lose out and it might stop her wasting time doing it. I have a calculation emailed which I wondered about sending to her- but again- constant battle of staying out of trouble or adding fuel to the fire

Henrydoodles wrote:

Thank you both for your response.

I have been trying to find out whether legal aid is granted to someone on maternity leave but you basically have to instruct a solicitor or mediator to find out. Its not very clear at all.

You can only get legal aid if there is a documented history of domestic abuse

I have been advised that CSA calculations are actually backdated so if she went to the CSA now, they would calculate what I owed her based on the arrangement we have had in place for the last year. Does anyone know if this is definitely correct? If so, she is going to lose out and the new arrangements wouldn't have a knock on effect on my CSA payments until next year.

This is definitely incorrect. If either of you went to the CMS (no CSA anymore) then the assessment is from around the time they contact the other parent. They do not backdate

I have done a CMS calculation and I am actually paying more than they suggested. I wondered about dropping this down now to the CMS suggested amount so she realises she will lose out and it might stop her wasting time doing it. I have a calculation emailed which I wondered about sending to her- but again- constant battle of staying out of trouble or adding fuel to the fire

Rather than quote loads of figures why not make it clear that if she chooses the CMS route you will only pay the assessed amount? If she has a knowledge of your income then she will be easily enough able to calculate what she may get.

Do you have any children living with you and your new partner?