primary carer

how is it decided who is the primary carer for children? I work full time but I work from home and I've always managed everything related to the children because my wife doesn't speak English very well.
She doesn't work but I often prepared the meals - which was one of the reasons I wanted to divorce because she wasn't doing her share.

when we separated she moved out to temporary accomodation and I accepted that she get the child benefit so she could get a permanent council house. she also went to the school and said she was the primary carer.
now I'm trying to negotiate a financial arrangement with her but she says she wants our matrimonial home even though she never paid anything toward it.
So I'd like to have the custody of the children and keep my house as I can care for them just fine, also they are teenagers.
is this realistic? would I have to go to court?
Also my daughter refuses to live with her mother, because she doesn't get along with her, so she's with me full time. my wife is forcing my son to live with her so she doesn't lose her universal credit

You need to get the child benefit put back into your own name as your ex-wife has been playing you.

In financial relief cases, the money follows the children and their primary carer so if she can prove she is the primary carer she will get the house.

You should call up the child benefit people for you daughter immediately and put in a claim, they will then do an investigation. The proof will be things like letters from school, who takes them to the doctors/dentist/optician so a letter from the relevant professional. Another one I had was library registration cards that were listed for my own address.

Another document was the child arrangements court order stating which child was to live where. With older teenagers, the court doesn't like making orders unless they were in danger which they weren't but they were just on the cusp of being teenagers and I pressured the court to make the order and this was provided to the child benefit people.

My kids were too young to get involved themselves so I don't know how that would work but I was able to prove one was living with me the majority of the time and the child benefit was transferred over to me.

With your son living with his mum you could still get the child benefit in your name if he spends the majority of his time with you. If she is going after your house then you really need to take care of yourself and if she loses some benefits that's her problem.

In the financial relief they will basically say what are you housing needs so in your case with both your daughter and son it's three bedrooms and then your ex-wife has a housing need of one or two bedrooms depending on your son. So depending on how big your house is and so on you could still end up selling it. It doesn't matter who payed for what given how long you presumably must have been married for.

ok thanks, I'll call them tomorrow