Court order for child's name

I split from my husband due to his persistent adultery a month before I gave birth in May 17. We were married 11 months. He saw the child very regularly at first at our home which he had moved out of. Usually every day and for as long as he wanted. He then saw the child at my home for 2 hours 3 times a week as I breastfeed. He has not seen the child since Oct 17. This is his own choice. I have not once tried to stop him seeing the child and encouraged contact.

I registered the child with my surname as I didn't want them to have a different name to the parent they live with for many many reasons. My stbx was aware i was doing this. I have been entirely reasonable about everything and made an appointment so he could come to register the birth with me. My ex husband took me to court and we had an agreement to double barrel the surname. A court order was put in place. He saw the child for a few months after the court order but hasn't seen him for 7 months.

I am very uncomfortable and frustrated that my child has a surname of a father that has no contact with them. Could I be successful in getting this order overturned? If so how do I go about this?

We have an FDR next week as he is trying to force the sale of my home, in which I reside in with the child. Could I bring this up at this hearing?

You will need to demonstrate to the Court that it is in the interests of your child for their name to be changed.

How will you do this?

Why do you think it is in your child's best interest not to have their Father's name?

Your frustration is understandable but won't come into it.

Yes how would I demonstrate this? Any advice greatly appreciated. I feel it is reasonable that our child has my name. The father only wanted the child to have his name for tradition sake. I feel it will be very confusing to the child wondering why they have a different name to myself and the father. What if the father does not see the child ever again? What about when the child has siblings and has a different name to them. How do I explain to the child why the birth certificate has a different name? Why should the child have to have the extra hassle when older with regards to documentation for the sake of a father they don't see?

The point is, from what you have said, you won't be able to demonstrate it is in the child's best interests.

Any future siblings will probably have a different Father so may have that persons surname.

It isn't unusual for family members to have different surnames. A lot of women choose not to take their husbands name, children have double-barrelled names etc.

Does the court order affect the name that is in common use, or simply official use?

I never changed my name on marriage, and when the first child was born we decided on both surnames. As this proved a mouthful, we only ever used the second one (his). When we had to provide info eg for school or GP I usually wrote both at first, underlined the one name and then only used that one. It was the same for subsequent children.

So they were always known simply by their father's name, but in their passports, birth certificates etc had both.

He walked out on us when they were teenagers. A couple of years later, one of the children went to live with him. She then decided to change her first name by Deed Poll so is known by a new given name, and continues the use of her father's family name. The other two, without changing by deed poll, have switched to my family name which was always there, but are now known by the same first names as previously, but a different surname. As far as I know none of these changes has caused any particular difficulties or confusion.

So - depending on the terms, and how much you want to stretch them - there may be scope for some flexibility in actual use, should you want to drop the father's name. Though I think having the father's name in the background so to speak might be no bad thing, I can see how it would grate in daily use. I thank my lucky stars every day that I never changed my own name.

Thank you for your replies. It was ordered that the new name will be how they are known and on all documents.

The child already has passport, bank account, doctors, library etc etc in the name on birth certificate. I have been ordered to get a new passport after our holiday.

WYSPECIAL are you saying that you don't think it will be possible to have the order overturned?

Future children will have my name. I certainly do not want my child to be the odd one out. It is definitely in my child's best interests to share the surname with the parent they live with. I can see no benefit whatsoever to my child having a double barrelled name with a father they will never know if he continues not to have contact.

I've been told time and again that it's a male pride thing to carry their name on. It's a shame and very sad that he cares more about this than seeing his child.

Did you agree to the Court Order by consent between yourselves or was it forced upon you by the Court?