Parental alientation of son

Hello,

Not posted here in a long time.

I have shared residence for my son, with a 50-50 split on nights. This has been in place for seven years now, and he is ten years old.

For two years now his mum has been threatening to break the 50-50 court order, on the basis that son is unhappy with me. Last summer she got him to tell me that he did not want to live with me anymore, but as soon as he was away from her he was retracted that. However, that incident took a whole year for him to get over.

He's not a boy who stands up for himself, and I fear that if mum tells him to not come to my home he will do it as he is scared of her. She is very authoritarian compared to me.

How can I build his resilience?

MMS

I would say just make sure he knows you are always there for him.
When you do have him make sure you do things together that he enjoys.
Have you asked him why he doesn’t want to spend time at yours?
Is it just you and him?

He has a new sister, from my new wife. He's a little jealous of her. Mum has exploited that and turned it into I do not care for him anymore.

We spend a lot of time together. He does want to be at my home. It is more that mum is pressuring him to choose her.

If you have a court order then you can insist he complies with court order...he doesn't then have to choose between you and mum..the court order is he is at yours 50:50. That may take the pressure of him to side with his mum. At 10yrs he is not old enough to choose, although I appreciate his mum is manipulating him. You will need to document all this and take it back to court if need be. Parental alienation can seriously mess up kids.

Dear Lois,

Thank you for that. Reminded me to take Mum out of conversations. I do have a Court Order for shared residence with equal division of nights.

I have had two conversations with the Police, one with Children's Services and another with my son's school this week. All have said that I need to keep a diary of alienating behaviour. Is there anything other than a diary that I need to do?

Son seemed better this weekend, but I am worried about him, as well as what his Mum might do next.

MMS

Mum has convinced him that he is old enough to choose to not obey the court order. School and I have told him otherwise, as gently as possible, and he has then said that I don't listen to him and I have tricked the school into siding with me.

Have followed advice and backed off. Still try pick ups, but only so that he knows that I have not given up on him. No expectation that he will come to my home.

Hello. Had a shock yesterday. My ex-wife has now withdrawn permission for my son to move to grammar school in September.

There seems to be no reasons for this. She is just doing it because she thinks she can. It is going to have such a huge impact on his future.

What are my options?

As an aside, Children's Services are about to submit their Section 17 Assessment. They have told me that they see no reason why he should not come to my home, and his reasons for rejecting my home are not rational.