School Rugby Tour

Hi, looking for an opinion, I pay £500 Pm Cm , also school fees of £2.5k per pa. also pay phone and pocket money of £20 per week. Also as per Consent Order pay all uniforms and PE kit. Which costs around £500 each August.

There is a rugby tour next year to South Africa which costs £2400 for 2 weeks.

For the last 4 years my son has refused (by his mum) to come to my home or engage with my new wife. I see him for dinner once a week on my own. I have offered to pay £1600 plus the £500 spending money (set by the school) if she pays £800, I have offered to reduce the CM to £400 per month for 8 months to make it easier for her, and I will pay for the tour up front.

My wife is reasonably wealthy, however she feels that as she has been excluded from my son why should we pay for everything?

Any thoughts?

Kids aren't like sporting evnts on Sky where you pay to view.

You already pay a lot via the Court Order can you afford to pay this extra? Will it make any difference to what you can afford to do with your new wife this year?

Will your son and ex wife appreciate you paying it or will it just make them expect more and more?

If you don't pay anything towards it will your son be going anyway and you paying just saves your ex some cash?

How old is he?

Thanks for your reply, he is 16, my ex couldn’t afford to pay for the tour. I am happy to share the costs as I have said. There is an expectation on her part that I pay for everything, unfortunately this has rubbed off on him and therefore he expects the same.

Bottom line is he will have to go, I wouldn’t embarrass him by not letting him go. I just think that what I have offered is fair and also by reducing her CM means she doesn’t have to find £800 in one go.

The money means nothing to us and wouldn’t affect us in any way. However I think she she pay at least something?

Great that you are able and happy to pay.

The money clearly does mean something to your current wife though which is what I thought your question was about.

Thanks,

You’re right my wife thinks I get taken for granted. She feels it’s all one sided. Do you not think what I have offered is a fair compromise?