What happens if I seek refuge

Hello. Wondering what happens if I seek refuge for non violent abuse and control.

How long would I be advised to wait before letting him see the kids (5 and 10)? Ideally would want some space for us all for at least a while, but not sure what is wise legally.

What could I do if I handed them over and he wouldn't give them back?

Could he just delay the divorce and house sale endlessly?

Thank you.

It's impossible to say. It depends on so many factors such as whether or not it is considered abuse by authorities, whether the abuse is all in one direction or mutual, what evidence you have. You cannot just take the children away and say it is abuse without some kind of evidence for example. It might work in the short term under investigation but in the long term it could cost you dearly if there is nothing to investigate. For example, it might make you less credible in the eyes of the court.

Some people would recommend Women's Aid but I would exercise some caution with them too. They take a view that abuse is a gendered crime whereas the courts don't. Consequently they are likely to believe you and encourage you even if the evidence isn't strong.

My recommendation would be to take your questions and evidence to a solicitor to advise you before you take any further action. You may find you are advised that you can move out with the children but will have to allow contact from the beginning.