My Little Girl

moth, me again, but what about if you feel you have tried and tried and it seems to only be one-sided?believe me I only want the absolute best for my children!

Moth

I really do not agree with you. There is truth in what you say - but there are other things to consider.

What about the marriage where one partner abuses another in any way, verbal emotional and phsysical, what do the children learn by staying in that "family" - that one person has a right to dominate and subjugate another and/or that they do not deserve to have self esteem, or that to make themseves feel better they have to destory another - I agree that will lead to further future problems.

What about the other classic story of the liar and cheat of a partner - the other is left feeling foolish - children are lied to and see their other parent shrink inside and demean themselves by ingorng lies and there own lack of self worth

There are hundreds of other scenarios - but why would that be better to witness close hand and "learn" this type of behaviour at all.

If we all get through this with restored self esteem and our children see honest open parents wishing the best for them and themselves - that surely is a better role model than "staying together for the kids"

Dont get me wrong - of a marriage can be save at all and will be apostive place for the kids then all efforts should be made - but not at the expense of either the grown ups or the kids - as what will their lessons in life be?

sorry for rant - but I was worried and ashamed about my kids not being par of 2.4 average family - but realise that it would have damaged them more to witness that any more.

thanks jollyrocket that is my point i wanted to make. husband became very angry and as much as we tried councelling nothing would improve-i just felt responsible and didn't want the kids to grow up thinking that kind of behaviour and life is ok.

I agree with you Moth, I am from a broken home and I too am going thru many of the same issues experienced as a child with my son. A mother who has many men callers and friends, a child that is becoming insular and devoid of emotion. When asked how are you? He just says "Yep good". I know he's not, I wish I could get to the inner happy lovely child from 6 months ago, but i think he has gone never to be seen again, I know I changed after my dad left when I was 11. N.B I havent left, neither had my dad, we were/have both been pushed out, by ladies wanting and wishing for greener grass. I cry my son's tears for him, it hurts deep in the pit of my stomach. I don't mourn the loss of my wife or the marriage, just pain for a child lost. FACT: My stbx, has the same character trait as Karen Matthews "unable to put the needs of the child, above her own".