Splitting and children

Hi i am new to this site and am hoping someone can give me some advice. (sorry its long but i don;t know where to turn)

my husband (of 14 years) and i have had a very rocky relationship for the last 4 years - he suffers from depression in boughts and chooses drink as his prefered medicine!! He is not physically abusive but is verbally to me and lately verbally to our eldest daughter (11) 2 weeks ago i decided enoughwas enough and I want him to leave. However he is ademant that as he has looked after the children for the last 3 years while I am at work (necessity to pay the bills!!) this makes him the main care giver and so they will live with him. we rent the family home which is in my name from last time I left him (3 years ago) and he has been on Inacapity Benefit for 3 years - has given me no money towards the bills but always has money for beer and fags. I am the one who takes children to after school clubs, church, pays for unforms school trips (I get CB ) I also look after them evenings and weekends as he is normally out. I do not have a problem with 50/50 but feel the children need a base to call home as they are still quite young (3,8,11).

Is he right? he seems to think i have to put up with his random behaviour because he knows how much the children mean to me (they are my life!)

Not sure what to do next.

Ultimately others can decide what is in the best interests of your children, but I expect your husband is just unwilling to move out.

At 11, your eldest child is also able to state her preferences as well.

Where do I stand if the children are so scared of him they will not go to bed ?? He has kicked off tonight inf ront of the children calling me every name under the sun and verballt threatening me. Not so loving a father tonight - while i know he is hurting I cannot live with someone who can scare his own children soo much - what do i do next??

Hi Hun

I answered you under your other thread.

Please don't think you have to put up with this - you really don't.

xxx

Contact your local Domestic Violence unit asap. Even if you don't think you are physically in danger, they will be able to offer advice. If he is scaring your children he must be stopped.