advice needed

Hi everyone,

I was hoping to get some free advice after finding out about solicitor's fees this afternoon! My husband left me at the beginning of June, 2 months after the birth of our second child. Our newborn had just been diagnosed with a severe and life-limiting condition and I was left to cope with this, my 3 year old, the house and the fact that he had left. After 5 months trying to persuade him to come back, I decided to move on. Although my husband had maintained contact with both our children throughout this period, it had been sporadic and he often went a week or so without seeing our son.
Since I have started a new relationship, my husband has been much more present in the children's lives and announced he wanted to come back although I could never trust him again now and won't let him come back.
I have several questions based on all this! - firstly, as my daughter still lives with me and my son will be coming home to me, am I entitled to make individual decisions about their welfare or do I have to consult my husband? Secondly, do I have the right to stop my husband entering the house (we have a joint mortgage and I am putting the house up for sale in Jan as I cannot afford to live there). And lastly, when my son comes home we will have to provide overnight care for him once a week when the nurses have a night off. My husband has said he will share this responsibility but thinks I am being unreasonable that I won't let his girlfriend come with him as my boyfriend stays over (my point is that I don't take my boyfriend into his home) - does he have the right to insist on this?

Any advice will be gratefully received, its a bit of a strange situation so I just don't know what to do! And the finances are a whole different matter ........!!!

scared x

Hi scared girl,

Wow what a lot to cope with and remain so level headed.

Regards can he bring his girlfriend....is he for real...is he serious.....as you say he left and you dont take your new partner into his home. IMHO this is a NO NO NO...the children certainly dont need the issues this could cause.

Best wishes

Elle

Hi Sacredgirl

What a shame about your newborn. My heart goes out to you.

It sounds to me like your husband is being totally unreasonable about his girlfriend staying. If he can't share one night a week care and therefore go without seeing his new girlfriend for one night a fortnight whilst he is caring for his son, something is wrong with him!

If the house is jointly owned he has right of access. I asked my solicitor the same question about my wife and her access to the FMH where I live with the children, and was told she has the right of access but that I can request she gives me notice and doesn't just turn up.

On the welfare decisions I don't know, but as a dad I would like to be involved in those decisions so unless he is not capable of it I would encourage his involvement.

ALl the best

Steve