Arrangements prior to divorce

I moved out of the matrimonial home two weeks ago - out of concern for my wife and son (who has Asperger's Syndrome). Since then, my wife has controlled any time I have with my son although she'll say that she isn't! If I try to discuss this with my son I'll get accused of pressurising him or her.

In the last week I've seen him for less than 15 hours, of which only 9 was without my wife. I also have various notes my son has left me saying how much he misses me, which she chooses to ignore.

Any communication with my wife (including a letter I wrote to her recently) is ignored, or she implies I want to move back into the matrimonial home with her there also (I don't). The letter suggested that we share care for our son equally - and the suggestion that we do so from the matrimonial home on the grounds of trying to minimise the disruption for him.

My wife also doesn't seem to appreciate that the matrimonial home will have to be sold in a divorce, so neither of us are going to be able to keep it in any case.

What do I do?

Thanks in advance,
sad.dad

There are no short answers to this one.

You don't go into the reasons for your moving out, but let's assume that the marriage is now dead. Only you know whether or not it is worth trying again.

If so, then one or other of you needs to file for divorce. As part of that process, you will be asked to file or sign a "Statement of Arrangements for the Children" which will suggest how you intend to look after your son between you.

If you can't reach an agreement on that, and if mediation doesn't work, then one or other of you will need to file for residence of your son, and the court will make the decision for you.

This is a long road, and you are at the beginning.