How is this supposed to help improve communication

I am sure you are sparkles...looking objectivly that is.Of course I dont know your whole situation but from experience try to seperate the real things from things said in haste or spite.
Be careful the stress does not make you ill...open up to someone close if you can.
Amidst this you are still being a good parent and your ex is going for residence.He has no chance!!!Do not underestimate that though.
The fact he want residence AND says he will leave the country may suggest somewhere along the line in his 'ideal' world he would like to do this.So whilst his empty threats are all just that...further a field his designs on relocation may not be.Good luck sparkles....chin up!

Thanks - the reason I posted last night was exactly to prevent me reacting to the email to him I do, thankfully have a good support network in place (essential requirement of the parents of any toddler I reckon regardless of marital status!)

I am £15k worth of legal fees aware of just how serious his plans are, he has already left the country and his campaign is to remove our child not just from the UK but specifically from despite the simple fact our child is reported repeatedly as thriving in my care. The reason I didn't leave him more quickly was that I knew how easily he could achieve his aims. His problem of course is that he doesn't have a case and so needs to magnify anything he can and to be perfectly honest that makes me tired because I'd rather use my energy constructively rather than this way. It makes me nervous about sharing information with him because I know it's giong to end up getting twisted out of all proportion.

Unfortunately I don't think there is anything to be done differently from my perspective, I just have to continue hanging on and do the best I can for a child who doesn't deserve to suffer simply because their paretns can't sort themselves out!

Happily, our child is much more chirpy today and back to thier normal self again so at least that's not a problam

xS *off to make a snowman*

Sparkles wrote:

- I know it's for our child's benefit and of course I've no intention of changing how I'm doing things (ie by the book), but it just winds me up, so completely.

I was unaware there was a book written. Dare I suggest that sometimes one persons perception of routine can be deemed to be so regimental that it affects the children in some way. I am a firm believer in routine but flexibility should never be discounted. If your stbx asks for additional time with his child, then go out of yur way to grant that providing it does not have any negative effects upon the child.

I am going through a similar thing with my ex and am speaking from my own experiance so its just my point of view. There are two parents in a childs life if both are willing. Children are neither yours or his (mine) they are both.

K the book I mean is the 'being reasonable and keeping communication channels open' book

Sorry what do you mean about routine??

If you've read many of my posts you'll know I almost always refer to 'our child' not 'my child'

Thanks for you reply,
xW

havent read the full chain but who has the passport - If you then keep hold of it

Also, he has to apply through the courts for residence and no court will uproot a child from mother to go abroad unless he is a foreign national and even then is unlikely

In your defence against 'him building a case' make sure you keep a diary and log all the claims, arguements and other stuff

If you can have a great time with your child - thats the most important

You cant improve communication on your own - it does take two

Thanks, I appreciate you taking the time to reply. You're so right about communication taking both parties as well. I guess that after 2 years I just figure it's time for him to be being a bit more grown up about it.

Passports are safe and not even kept at our house, not that I think it's impossible for a fake to be obtained, our child has dual nationality which does complicate matters slightly but to be fair I am getting a lot of support and the right stuff from the 'authorities'.

I guess yesterday was just a bad day really, I was disappointed that yet again I'd made an effort to move things forward and yet again it was used as an excuse to have a go a me.
Still another day, something different to smile at

Thanks for all the support and practical advice, it's a good barometer to check if I am being reasonable or not, much appreciated chaps and lady chaps
xS