During a Divorce children should stay with mother?

Hello everyone, I am a University Student in my final year completing a Law Degree.

I am currently writing a research paper on Family Law and wanted your views on the following statement ...

"During a divorce children should always stay with the mother"

Do you AGREE or DISAGREE?

WHY?

What advantages do living with the mother / father have for the children?


Thanks your views are appreciated.... Tom

When is it due in Tom and dont say tomorrow at 5!

Its not that sort of paper - Its a research paper so I have a month to collect peoples views and Ideas ...


Tom

Well youve opened up a hot topic I hope you can handle it.

For my part I would say the idea that the kids stay with the mother is shifting significantly although many of the dads on here will disagree. You should also know for your research purposes we have done our own little survey and come up with the view that the type of people who use wiki have probably got the sticky end of things so if you like - this sample group can be viewed as being skewed - however we are good fun with it.

Far more divorcing couples are going for 50-50 shared care particularly those who end up having to stay together post divorce in the family home. (you can speak to the guy from the times about that - hes doing an article on people who cant afford separate houses).

Ostensibly the idea that the mother keeps the children is located in the classic gender roles dynamic where the female parent is the main carer, the male parent the bread winner. Increasingly that is not the reality in many homes where both parents NEED to work to cover the financial costs of having a family and therefore both are involved in the direct care of the children. In divorcing this means both argue they are capable of being the main carer. In general custom and practice it is accepted that its pretty difficult for children to live across two households from a logistics point of view although teenagers quite like it because theres more scope for scamming the boundaries.

Who gets the kids comes down to a range of issues significantly money (who earns the most and who has to keep working to fund the divorce) and who keeps the house where the children actually live. It will interest you to know that even where parents do share the care only one can claim the child benefit and thats the one who is seen for statistics purposes as the main carer - so when looking at statistics things are not all that they seem. As they saying goes theres lies; damn lies and then theres statistics.

Good luck with it Tom

Rasher

Hi Tom,

You already have my views! If you want them in more depth let me know.

Good luck

Elle x

Thanks Elle

If you fancy PM'ing me anytime if you have any thoughts let me know

Tom x

Hi

As a mother I would say it should be the mother who looks after the children until they are of an age when they can make a realistic choice based on invidual circumstances for their own family situation.

When a child is ill they always want their mum, mothers are genetically engineered to care for their off spring. I know all the dads out there will be in outrage now but it is a true fact. A mother is capable of giving unconditional love to their child/ren 110%. I have not met a man that can do that yet and I do hasten the word yet because when I find him I will keep him.

In my views if a father wants to care for his child/ren it would be easier if the sex of that child was male. How a father can take a young girl through the process of puberty is beyound me but may stand to be corrected here.

I know we live in a society of justice for dads and I am not for one minute trying to say that dads are unable to cope. What I am saying is that dads sometimes feel that their x partners are trying to get as much as possible from them by using the children as pawns or so they think. In my view this is not the case mothers want to keep their children because they are designed that way, they have borne them loved and nurtured them to seperate them because of divorce is like cutting off their limbs.

If I have offended I apoligise this is my personal view only x