Vacation

Hi All,

Shared PR, 2 kids, 3 and 8, I see them 3 days/nights per week. stbx is very upset I now have fiancée, and she is now being difficult at every junction. we wanted to take kids to an amusement park, and she said no. we wanted to take them on a short weekend break, again she said no. Now we want to go on vacation, with kids, and she is saying no again.

I am tired of this, and would like to know what I can do without spending many thousands on legal fees.

Any suggestions?

When the family breakdown and/or a new relationship is fairly recent understanding,patience and reassurance the new partner is not going to replace your ex can go a long way to prevent unnecessary damage to long term family relationships. However, ultimately if she can't deal with the issue you need to remind her the children come first. See;

www.dad.info/relationships/getting-toget...riends-and-your-kids

Hi Fiona,

Thanks for your reply. We have been living apart for a long time, and my new fiancée has been living with me for about 6 months now. I have introduced her gradually to the kids, and made it very clear that she is not a "new mummy" - I tell the kids frequently and clearly that nobody can or ever will replace mummy, and they understand this.

They get on fabulously with my new partner, and she is very understanding that my kids will always come first, and that this will forever be something that ties stbx and me. The idea of marriage was also slowly introduced, and although one of the first questions was "but, she won't be my new mom, will she?" (definitely not...) they are excited and happy about the idea.

In short, I followed the suggestions you linked to pretty closely.

Nevertheless, the kids' mom won't let me take the kids on holiday, threatening all kinds of stupid stuff. What is my legal position? What can I do?

The following schedule relating to Parental Responsibility was attached to the judgment in the case A v A;

1)Decisions that could be taken independently and without any consultation or notification to the other parent.

How the children are to spend their time during contact
Personal care for the children
Activities undertaken
Religious and spiritual pursuits
Continuance of medicine treatment prescribed by GP

2)Decisions where one parent would always need to inform the other parent of the decision, but did not need to consult or take the other parent's views into account.

Medical Treatment in an emergency
Booking holidays or to take the children abroad in contact time
Planned visits to the GP and the reasons for this

3)Decisions that you would need to both inform and consult the other parent prior to making the decision.

Schools the children are to attend, including admissions applications.
Contact rotas in school holidays
Planned medical and dental treatment
Stopping medication prescribed for the children
Attendance at school functions so they can be planned to avoid meetings wherever possible
Age that children should be able to watch videos. ie videos recommended for children over 12 and 18.

PS If holidays can't be agreed you can make an application to court for a contact order, or in this case a shared Residence Order defining contact as the reality is the children live in two homes. The application Form C100 and leaflets CB1 and C3 can be downloaded from hmcourts website. However, bear in mind the basis of contact for children is that parents can work together and going to court makes this impossible. mediation is a better way of resolving disputes without damaging long term family relations.

Hi Fiona,

Thanks again, that was extremely useful!

Fiona,

That is a brilliant and fairly comprehensive list I did not realise one existed. One to save from my files me thinks