Partner claiming for I stole her Gold/Gifts

Hi Folks,

I am hoping you can help me, I am 13 months into a "simple divorce", we have no children and the marriage lasted only six years, we are both in our late 20's. We sold our joint family home in June 2023 and now both live with our respective parents. I have been trying for the last several months to resolve this divorce quickly and without going to court, as I do not have the time or finances to do this. This divorce is severely impacting my mental health

My income is £100K and her's is £50K. I have around £10K in savings but high costs due to debts.

She has a lower income but did have higher savings which is now hiding.

We have exchanged form E's and she lied on her Form and emptied all her accounts and did not provide the correct evidence. I told my Solicitor to chase her up about this, but he didn't really do much except take my money and say I need to be patient. I have spent over £28,000 on solicitor fees so far. I advised him its been 13 months and we've made little progress. I fired him a few weeks ago and I am now representing myself as he didn't seem interested in resolving my case.

We have the following assets to split:
1) Pensions similar values
2) Sales of Proceeds from the house which is sitting with her solicitor approx £150,000
3) Gifts during the marriage
4) Household content which she removed and admitted to removing in one her letters sent by her solicitors. She now claims all she took was the bed, and the rest of the items I must have or have disappeared.

I spoke to her solicitor a few days ago and they said, the pensions they may agree to keep separate as they are similar value but are not sure right now.

They said they won't agree to a 50/50 split of sales of proceeds as I have apparently stolen all her jewellery and gold that was gifted by me (and my family and her family) to her during the marriage including the wedding bands.

I am an honest person and I have never stolen anything in my life and don't want anything of hers.

Being an honest person I have sent her a list of all jewellery that was being stored at my parents’ house but she is claiming the list is only partial and is missing lots of items. I have also sent her a second list of all the gifts my family gave her over £500 and she is claiming she has none of them, when I know 100% she does as they were always in her possesion.All the gifts my family gave her I photos and receipts and credit card receipts / bank statements to show they are real.
The reality of the situation is all the items my family gifted her and that I gifted her are in her possession including the wedding bands. She is a she is a pathological liar and has been suspended from work twice for lying.

When I asked her solicitor where all the house hold content has gone including £10K worth of my items I was told 'you must have them' even though I was unable to access the house or my possesions for 9 months and was 'forced' to continue to pay all the bills while she lived there.

Her solicitor is saying unless I agree to give her X amount (they will provide this figure to me soon) she won't agree to resolve the situation and we will have to go to court. I have asked for photos and receipts of every item that I have apparently 'stolen'

I have already completed Form A as a back-up measure but I have zero interest in going to court and want this situation resolved within the next few weeks as I am now being evicted from my rented accommodation and I don't have the energy to move all my items to a temporary place! I just want to buy my own house with the 50% from the sales of proceeds and move on with my life.

The questions I have are:

1) How can I prove I don't have the items she mentions and that she is the one who has them?
2) How can I prove she took all the items from the house including all my personal possesions ( I have witness statements from the neighbours who saw this but will this hold up in court?)

She needs to prove you do. If she can do that why hasn't she reported the alleged theft?

Although you say you don't want to go to court, this may be the only way to resolve things. In the court process you sign a statement of truth.

You each have the opportunity to raise questions which a judge will order are answered.

In the great scheme of things all this may make little or no difference to any settlement which will be based on needs first.

Hadenoughnow

Thank you for replying, her solicitor has sent me two documents. One is a table of all the items I apparently have in my possession, with no proper description, no receipts and no justification on the value she has given

The second document is 50 photos with no context or description. Most of these photos are of her wearing jewellery that I've never seen before and are definitely before we met. Some of the photos are of her in college over 20 years ago!! I have only known her 7 years!

Her solicitor wrote this in the offer letter "We also also reserve the right to rely on the contents of this letter on the issue of costs."

What does this mean?

As previously, the onus is on her to prove the existence of the items, including value as well as to make a case that you have retained them.
These photos are an attempt to prove the items existed. If the pictures are old and you don't recognise the items you can ask for the dates of the images then just make clear they were taken prior to the relationship and don't prove anything beyond the fact the stuff was in her possession at one time.

If she says she left them in the FMH and you say she did not, it will be up to a judge to decide who is telling the truth. What sort of value are you talking about? Have you suggested reporting the 'theft' and perhaps making an insurance claim. If neither of you has the items?

The costs line is a common one. In truth it is quite hard to claim costs for court proceedings in relation to financial settlement on divorce.

Hadenoughnow