Exwife cohabiting with new partner and financial remedy

Hi,

My ex-wife and I separated in Jan 2022 and the divorce went through in Jan 23.

We have a son who was 4 at that time. I moved out and found alternative property relatively quickly but continued to pay the mortgage and various other bills in full until November 2022.

We agreed that I wouldn't pay child maintenance (CM) as I was covering the mortgage and household bills and from November 22 she took over the mortgage and I paid £200pm CM agreed privately.

In Jan 2023 (or there abouts; wasn't confirmed and consent wasn't asked) she moved her new partner (shortly became her fiance) into the FMH. Mid/late 2023, after a lot of pushing, we agreed a division of equity of 62.5%/37.5% in her favour, with her and her new partner proposing to take over the mortgage and give me my share based on market value.

She has then stalled and stalled, constantly asking for more time in order to secure her mortgage. I am heavily in debt from paying legal costs in trying to fight to obtain my equity, and in the most recent communication she has told me that as I now have a new relationship and am co-habiting, she wishes to re-negotiate a different settlement as she can't afford the mortgage due to the increased interest rates and state of the market.

I have countered saying that we are nearly 2.5 years on and I have given them lots of time and space to achieve what they want to achieve, however this has had a significant impact on me, i.e. I have been unable to clear debt leading to months of interest, I cannot look to purchase, and my equity is tied up in a property which her fiance and his children (to whom I owe nothing) are benefiting from yet I have no benefit at all.

She has also said that I should have been paying CM from Jan - Nov 22 (despite me paying the full mortgage, bills, council tax and trying to re-house myself), and that I should have been paying a percentage (30%) of the mortgage since Nov 22 and she is therefore going to deduct this from any equity owed.

From my perspective, I have not asked her to repay any of the mortgage for when she was in sole occupation, and I do not think it equitable or fair that she should expect me to pay a percentage of the mortgage for a time period where she has cohabited with another man and his children!

Whilst my new partner and my salary combined are likely considerably higher than her and her partner's, all I want from the house (and what had been agreed before) is sufficient funds to partly clear the liabilities I have accrued through legal costs pushing against resistance for a resolution, and to repay the money I had to borrow to pay the mortgage after I moved out in order to avoid defaulting on the mortgage. I will not be walking away with any cash in hand, and I certainly can't afford to buy a property and am 'stuck' in rented for the foreseeable.

My question; am I being reasonable, and if I ended up in court would they see that?

It seems she can only afford to take on the mortgage with a higher deposit than she can afford which she is seemingly trying to obtain by reducing my payout. This doesn't seem right at all as she isn't entitled to own a home, particularly if she can't afford it. I should add, we co-parent at 50/50 so there is no maintenance payment and this generally works well, and whilst I don't wish the disruption on my son, I simply don't think there is enough cash in the pot for her to stay there and for there to be a fair settlement.

Help...I don't know what to do and suspect it will have to go to court, but then everyone other than the solicitors lose and that seems very self-destructive.

You need to post details of ages, incomes and all assets for both of you for anyone to make a comment as you can’t just look at the house in isolation.

If you had a private arrangement for CM, ie you paid the mortgage in lieu of it, then there is no backdating.

Could you buy her out of the FMH and live there yourself? If you did would she have enough to rehouse herself?

Fair enough, thank you.

Me:

41, income £52k pa, no assets beyond a cheap runner car (maybe £3k). Roughly £43k debt.
My partner £40k pa.

My ex wife: 33, roughly £22k pa, no assets beyond similar value car, roughly £14k debt
Her fiance age unknown, roughly £25k pa

And re your last question, sadly no, I have no capital with which to make such an offer.

And I should add, after mortgage is cleared on the house there is roughly £95k equity, so based on the orignal agreement that would see me with roughly £35k and her with roughly £60k.

Probably also worth adding that her fiance is due/has had a payout of some kind from his own divorce. I do not know what this value is but I imagine it to be fairly significant as it was related to the sale/buyout of his FMH.