I am going through a very messy divorce at the moment and I just don't know who or what to believe. I don't know if I can trust my solicitor or whether she's just telling me what I want to hear and forcing me to spend more money with her (that I haven't got). I wondered if anyone can give me some advice on our financial settlement please?
We are due to have our final financial hearing early October and I wondered if anyone can give me an indication of what would be deemed a
fair settlement please. My ex is offering me an out of court offer but I really don't think it's fair and reasonable (my solicitor and the law clinic both agree but haven't elaborated on what I should be counter offering) and I don't trust my ex at all. Ex hasn't taken the fact that I've applied for
child maintenance kindly and is now refusing to pay the mortgage on the family home he resides in alone to force me into accepting his out of court offer. His family have offered to lend him the money to buy me out and pay off the existing mortgage with only a small amount to be paid back to them each month by him. He knows I can't get blacklisted as I will have to buy/rent further down the line. He doesn't have to worry about that because of his family's money. He won't use the family money to pay the mortgage but is instead forcing me to pay it all.
We have two young children who reside with me 60% of the time. We are due to go back to court for the child arrangements in November and he is pushing for 50/50 custody. I have raised serious allegations involving emotional and financial abuse and coercive control for which CAFCASS are going to get involved for.
Our financial situations are as follows:
Various house valuations last year all said between £300 & £325k.
Mortgage outstanding of £175,000 now (offer to me was made at £178k)
His offer was:
Average house valuation of £312,500
Minus outstanding mortgage £178k
Minus early repayment fee and cost of sale (£12k)
50% of equity is £61,250
Minus the difference in our pensions (£4.5k)
= £56k offered to me to settle out of court.
My ex:
Works Full time and earns £33k per annum
Lives in the 3 bedroom family home with mortgage of £1000 per month. (Which he now isn't paying)
Has approx £5k in debt
Pension is £31.5k
Pays £210 per month child maintenance but is now not paying any of the mortgage because of this.
When he buys me out (and pays off the mortgage) with his family's money he will be mortgage free and paying them back £400 per month
Me:
Works Part time and earns £24k per annum
Rents 2 bedroom flat through a private landlord.
Has approx £20k of debt (currently having to pay the mortgage on the family home on my credit card to stop us both getting bad credit). I had to take out a loan of £9k before I moved out to help set up a new home for myself and the children as ex wouldn't allow me to take any household goods with me. A large portion of this loan would be marital debt.
Pension is £39k (majority accumulated before marriage as I was on maternity leave with children and then have been part time since).
I have a mortgage capacity and can borrow £90k
Ex's behaviour has been nothing but awful since separation. Cancelled the mortgage direct debit without talking to the lender to try and negotiate a holiday or reduced amount because he was trying to scare me into accepting his offer. I've contacted the lender and requested an interest only amount (ex has since cancelled this). Surely this shows his intention to scare me into accepting his offer and not because he genuinely can't afford it?
He messages once a week to ask me why I applied for CM in the first place and why I didn't leave it how it was (me paying ALL child expenses and him paying the mortgage). He states that he is the children's father and is 'entitled' to 50/50 custody yet thinks I shouldn't have applied for maintenance. He refuses to put the house on the market because he wants to stay there after settlement (by using his family's money) but won't pay off the mortgage before the hearing because he's worried I'll go for 50% of the whole house value instead of just the equity. I've assured him I wouldn't.
It's all just a mess. I'm sick of getting into debt but I'm so sick of his coercive control and now this financial abuse that I'm so reluctant to just give in to him.
I just don't know what to do for the best and I don't know who I can trust to tell me the truth. Can anyone advise me on what sort of % I might be entitled to?
Thank you.
