Hi,
I am going through a very difficult and stressful divorce. My husband walked out on me and my three teenage children in Dec 2021.
I was a stay at home mum after giving up my teaching career from 2004-21 when he left. I have then worked as a TA and now am back in teaching full time.
My children are 20.19,17. My question relates to The time between 2021 and my final divorce hearing which is due in a few months.
Unfortunately, my husband has been financially abusive, not disclosed his debts for two years and been economically abusive since his departure.
Although he has paid the mortgage, he has dictated to me. He will pay and I have to use the collect and paid service through
child maintenance.
When he left, he took the family car. I could not drive at that time and we live in a rural area with only basic facilities. Also, he stopped paying essential that he had previously paid for such as council tax, some utility bills, our pets, and other household items which he had always been the bill payer for.
I have had to pay for all of these things over the last two years without any warning. I am wondering if I can claim back some of these costs at the final hearing for example, my children and I were less stranded without a car, which caused us huge problems. I was suddenly faced with large bills. My husband is a very high earner and owns the property. He's also 10 years younger than me. I have remained in the house looking after the children and working. .
My question is my question is can I recoup some of these costs for the restrictive lifestyle that we have had to cope with since his departure?
I have not had to make an interim order to the court, but the divorce is still not finalised and he has just overtime stopped paying for many things.
I have tried to be as responsible as possible by continuing to work and as a teacher, I am paying almost all of the bills in the house. He is contributing by child maintenance but only by force extras in the house such as white goods TV license, council tax and our six cats He has completely stopped paying for without any agreements with me.
My understanding was that when you separate, you are still responsible for all the bills you previously paid. At the time of his departure, I was financially dependent on him and had only been working as a teaching assistant for three weeks.
Very carefully, It was clear he had his move. I have had legal advice on disclosure and have ordered him to via D 11 form .
It just seems so unfair that he could suddenly up and leave and start forcing me to pay all these bills without any notice at the moment getting away with it.
Our second FDR hearing I tried to raise the issue of the car and the financial implications that that had caused me and our children Higher public transport cost, Higher costs And my driving lessons which are very expensive.
The judge did not even really let me speak. I was shut down at my final hearing. I am going to have a solicitor with me because even though I can't afford it, I was in a very vulnerable position and the judge took advantage of that by not ordering disclosure, of my strange spouse who had racked up debts of £80,000 without my knowledge .
If anybody knows if I can claim my costs back at the final resolution hearing as he has just imposed all these extra cost upon me by running away, then I would be very grateful.
Thank you for your time and help
