Hi,
I am going through a very difficult and stressful divorce. My husband walked out on me and my three teenage children in Dec 2021.
I was a stay at home mum after giving up my teaching career from 2004-21 when he left. I have then worked as a TA and now am back in teaching full time.
My children are 20.19,17. My question relates to The time between 2021 and my final divorce hearing which is due in a few months.
Unfortunately, my husband has been financially abusive, not disclosed his debts for two years and been economically abusive since his departure.
Although he has paid the mortgage, he has dictated to me what will pay and left everything else to me.
I have to use the collect and paid service through
child maintenance as he started only paying half the amount we agreed.
When he left, he took the family car. I could not drive at that time and we live in a rural area with only basic facilities. Also, he stopped paying essentials that he had previously paid for - such as council tax, some utility bills, our pets, and other household items which he had always been the bill payer for.
I have had to pay for all of these things over the last two years without any warning.
I am wondering if I can claim back some of these costs at the final hearing : for example, my children and I were left stranded without a car, which caused us huge problems.
I was suddenly faced with large bills. My husband is a very high earner and owns the property. He's also 10 years younger than me. I have remained in the house looking after the children and working. .
My question, is can I recoup some of these costs for the restrictive lifestyle that we have had to cope with since his departure?
I have not had to make an interim order to the court, but the divorce is still not finalised yet he has just stopped paying for many things.
I have tried to be as responsible as possible by continuing to work and as a teacher, I am paying almost all of the bills in the house.
He is contributing by child maintenance but only by force so many essentials in the house such as white goods , TV license, council tax and our six cats he has completely stopped paying for without any agreements with me whatsoever.
My understanding was that when you separate, you are still responsible for all the bills you previously paid.
At the time of his departure, I was financially dependent on him and had only been working as a teaching assistant for three weeks.
Very clearly It was now obvious he had planned his move for many months and had moved in with his girlfriend after an affair.
. I have had legal advice on disclosure and have ordered him now to via D 11 form .
It just seems so unfair that he could suddenly up and leave and start forcing me to pay all these bills without any notice; at the moment he is getting away with it.
During our second FDR hearing I tried to raise the issue of the car and the financial implications that that had caused me and our children; higher public transport and taxi costs plus my driving lessons which are very expensive.
The judge did not even really let me speak last eeek. I represented myself. I was shut down.
At my final hearing. I am going to have a solicitor with me because even though I can't afford it, I was in a very vulnerable position and the judge took advantage of that by not ordering disclosure from my strange spouse who had racked up debts of £80,000 without my knowledge .
If anybody knows if I can claim my costs back during the long separation period of 2 1/2 years at the final resolution hearing as he has just imposed all these extra cost upon me by running away, then I would be very grateful.
Thank you for your time and help
