Not sure where to go now

We had both decided after some research that collaborative law was the way to go. I have found a solicitor who I have an appointment to see on Thursday afternoon,

My stbx spoke to a solicitor today who has tried to persuade him that mediation will be the best way forward and has recommended someone for us to see.

Not only that he is sending some flow charts in the post on divorce and all that goes with it.

Now I am familiar with flow charts and use them most days in my job, but for gods sake I don't think I need a flow chart to see how a divorce works do I??

Now I am so confused and not sure what to do. I am happy to do this if it is right. If so should I still see the solicitor first?

Please can someone advise asap.

Hi

You need to bear in mind when choosing which route to go down that solicitors are businessmen/women too....

They are marketing themselves to you and competition for them is very fierce. They will use whatever skills and tools that they need to, to to gain your business.

Sorry if this sounds cynical but it's the way I see it. If you are are good terms with stbx see if you can agree most things about finances etc before you see a solicitor/mediator. This will help enormousely

poppy

Did your stbx go to a solicitor who is collaboratively trained and qualified? We (collab solicitors) are still a bit of a rare breed, and if stbx went to a solicitor who isn't also collaborative law qualified, that solicitor can't do a collaborative case, but probably doesn't want to lose the work! So may try to suggest mediation is suitable instead. Which it may be, but that isn't the point.

Its up to your stbx: if he goes to a sol who is collab qualified but who has reservations about suitability, its up to them to discuss why- and then your stbx can always go to a different collab solicitor.

You've done your homework: you think collab sounds right for you both. People who think that are generally right. Discuss with stbx.

Mediation is a different sort of approach which may also suit you, and be perfectly suitable for you, but collab is (in my 'umble opinion) just what a lot of sensible divorcing couples have been waiting for. That is supported by the number of solicitors I know who are themselves trained mediators, (a long and arduous process) who are now even more enthusiastic about collab and have gone through all the additional training to be able to do it. And we don't get paid for training!

My tuppence worth. I think at any stage mediation stands out on it's own as a forum for resolving disputes relating to the practical arrangements for children. However, when it comes discussing arrangements for a settlement it can be really helpful having solicitors present to clarify issues. Also the multidisciplinary approach of collaborative law means the skills of other professionals such as IFAs, accountants and counsellors can be drawn upon.