why wont anybody help me??????????????

Im ready to throw in the towel with the legal services/help offered in this country. Im very soon to be divorced from my very short term golddigging husband and he keeps throwing more crap at me. Basically apart from a business, car etc out of this marriage he is now dispite promises he wouldnt trying to get half share in my house, which was purchased before we met in my sole name, its a very long story but now he has thrown this in the ring im stuggling to get any legal help whatsoever. Ive worked all my life and the company i worked at for the past 13 years i earlier in the year left due to major changes and me wanting a change/rest. Ive recently applied for benefits and due to me being a lone parent im going on income support but still waiting for the claim to be completed. I whent to see a solicitor who wasnt interested till i could prove my eligibility for legal aid and was promptly sent off with no advise and told to come back when i had my paperwork, ive been to several more and got the same attitude, i went to the CAB and told i needed to talk face to face with a solicitor, the legal aid helpline told me the same and today ive hit rock bottom because the hearing for my decre Nisi is tomorrow and was once again this morning sent off after my initial "free" half hour consultation and told to come back when i could prove where funding was coming from, i even told them id be prepared to pay as long as i could get some advise and maybe a letter sent to the idots solicitors, but i was made to feel stupit, i was spoken down to, and felt i was being mocked. Im turning up at court tomorrow to represent myself and argue the costs, which i was promised i would have to pay, but feel like giving every thing i have to the ex as i feel like throwing the towel in. We were married less than 2 years, he didnt even have a job when i met him, my brother sorted him out, training and set up a business with him (and my mum gave him an interest free loan to pay his share of the business set up) he is doing the shit on my brother now as well and he has a business how could he possibly want more. I feel like ive been had and with him having the best of solicitors is there any justise left in this country?? Where can i go to get some legal help, if you know please help x

mitre,

It is a sad fact that many of us here have expeienced similar to you, however the legal support here has good repute, dont give up ...try and take a step back and revaluate..take care

Elle x

I too have a gold digging husband and feel for you. I was married 2 1/2 years - initially lied to as he told me he worked for himself as tiler however a couple of months into the relationship i found out he was actually also on benefits - i worked as a recruitment consultant and found him work and surprise surprise his bad back disappeared and he worked on a production line for almost 4 years - he was laid of the week after we split back in Jan 06 oh and guess what his back condition resurfaced and he has been on incapacity and DLA ever since. My home was being bought under right to buy scheme when i met him but he claims we were a couple when i purchased it - hello what happened to the previous 9 months of which i was going through purchase - i got a discount of 21k - which i believe to be a deposit. He is now fully legally aided and going for half of the equity which incidentally is only 23k - i offered him 5k for Clean Break he turned it down - my legal costs after only first appointment are 5k whilst he sits pretty on legal aid. Maybe not for long because from what i have discovered he may not be entitled as he is over threshold - if this is the case he would not pursue.

You have my greatest sympathy - i married in haste and am now repenting at leisure as they say - i wish i had never ever set eyes on this scrounging b.....d

Good luck x

mitre,

The divorce and the costs of that are separate from the financial settlement (ancillary relief).

Costs of the divorce are paid by one party or the other (or split) and may be awarded by the court. They are not much in the great scheme of things - £300 court costs I think I paid.

Once the Nisi is through it is vital to get the finances sorted to prevent any potential future claims. You can do this via a Consent Order which is agreed between you (with the help of mediation if necessary)and stamped by the court - or you have to gpo through the courts. There is lots of helpful information in the wiki library and plenty of people here who will be able to help you with any questions you have. You do not need a solicitor for all this .. it is possible to self rep as many wikipeeps have done.

Look at www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Divorce-Financ...to-calculate-a-fair- financial-settlement.html

This sets out what is considered when assets are divided on divorce.

You can use the on site Divorce Calculator for guidance or if you want wikipeeps to give you a view, you need to provide the following information:

Ages
Length of marriage + pre marriage cohab
Children - ages, genders and arrangements for them (nights with each parent)
Incomes (inc Tax credits etc if applicable)
FMH Value and outstanding mortgage + size of FMH
Value of other assets in sole of joint names - savings, shares, endowments
Pensions - CETVS
Liabilities in sole or joint names - loans, debts etc

In a short marriage the rule of thumb is that you take out what you put in. In practice the advice is often to offer a small lump sum - sufficient to say pay a rental deposit and for a bit of furniture - but a lot less than it would cost to go through the court system represented and probably end up with the same outcome.

Hadenoughnow

thanks for that, the decre Nisi went through yesterday and i attended and manage to get no order for costs, i got my papers for the financial order this morning, his solicitor has never even mentioned mediation, he is not only looking for half my house because my mum died last year and left a couple of properties he is after a lump sum off me as well and pension provisions. The fact he now has his own business, which my brother set him up with seems to have been ignored. Im seriously thinking of going to the police to report him for deception and fraud, the fact he has constantly been back and forth with me since the original papers were served im beginning to think was pre meditated just to get what he wanted and for me to just sit back and take it with no hasstle.

Mitre,

I respect your situation is difficult, however if you provide the info as per hadenoughs reply peeps will give you input to digest.

Elle x

The sharing of assets is determined by a check list of factors and usually needs is at the top of the list, particularly when there are dependent children of the family. Hadenoughnow is spot on, the authority on short marriages says that each party takes away what they contributed to the marriage, although duration of marriage is only one factor on the checklist.

You can ask for hearings to be adjourned whilst sorting out legal aid and solicitors.