unreasonable behaviour- before marriage?

Hello all,

One of the reasons that i want to put down in the divorce petition for UB is that my husban went to a sex club 2 months before we were married. As this was before we were married and i found out about it after (last year, and since then there have been lots of porn issues that have pushed me to my limits trust wise) do i have the right to put it in the petition?

My husband has also been what i would consider emotionally abusive when confronted on such issues, claiming i am 'not normal' to react and that i should be 'like other wives' on the matter. This has made me feel even more useless as a female and caused great distess. He has also told me that i am too controlling as i checked on the pc and found a file containing lists of quite bizarre extreme porn dvds, and when asked about a friend request (to be fair they requested him, though they said they did so via freind finder from his email)on facebook that was just a link to a porn site, he screamed that i was a 'fucking stupid bitch' for accusing him. Can this also be inculded?

Thanks.

The consideration is how long after discovering the behaviour you are complaining of it was before you separated. If you have lived in the knowledge of an incident for longer than six months the behaviour may be seen to have been condoned. That particular incident didn't make it intolerable to continue living together and therefore it isn't a reason the marriage broke down.

Fiona wrote:

The consideration is how long after discovering the behaviour you are complaining of it was before you separated. If you have lived in the knowledge of an incident for longer than six months the behaviour may be seen to have been condoned. That particular incident didn't make it intolerable to continue living together and therefore it isn't a reason the marriage broke down.

Hi Fiona,

I have been complaining ever since i found out more or less, very few weeks go by without it being an issue (even if i don't bring it up its actually been killing me inside). I had thought i could try to forgive but as there have been quite a few new things over the last few months i feel enough is enough.

just a reply on the emotional side of things. I've had very similar with my husband - I think the porn "thing" is a bigger problem these days than most people know about.....

it sounds to me like your husband is being very defensive (and guilty) and is being aggressive to try and make you back off.

I think, and many would agree, that being addicted to or very involved in porn on the internet can feel to the other partner like a real infidelity even tho there is no physical infidelity. It's no wonder its killing you inside. I think its unreasonable of him to react like that - he's obviously a bully.

I wish you well with it.