helppp

friends ... i m a medical student asking for help, i m studying in romania. my wife and i split up after she left me in 2006. she disallowed any contact with our child. i have been living in romania for 4 years and studying there, my brothers and sisters ar supporting me with little they can do.

i am unable to deal and defend myself against any allegations that are going to be made in divorce. unable to deal with any financial elements. unable to get contact with my child cos i have no help and i dnt know what do. i dnt know the court procedures or law and technicalities.

. i am left totally defenseless.. i went to see many solicitors and i was told i cant get legal aid, i dnt have any financial means to hire a lawyer or seek any representation. i am extremely depressed. i have no light ahead of me... i need help please ... i have almost reached a point of nervous breakdown withthis whole story

i am unable to sleep, eat, think, i m very down. and i need help. can someone help me with anything at all PLEASEE.... its a desperate cry for help. if someone out there has any humanity, for the sake of that i m begging for help.

Were you in the UK before and is the divorce going to be in the UK? Don't worry about the allegations in the divorce petition, it does not matter, you just deny it but accept the marriage is over if thats what it is.

Regarding child contact, see www.fnf.org.uk and attend their meeting at a branch in the UK.

For better financial advice, post your ages, incomes, length of marriage/cohab, children ages, arrangements, savings, outgoings, assets.

Your only real commitment could be Child support, the CSA wont have jurisdiction if you are in Romania and not working for a UK co. So it will be under REMO which is a long, drawn process.

If you are in the advance stages of a medical degree, you should know more than others about dealing with stress and depression. have long walks, jogging, etc.

Also educate yourself through this forum and the fnf site above. Your position could be much better than you think. Whilst you may not know legalities, you must be intelligent enough to pick it up and act for yourself, lots of uneducated people here have.

Decide what you want in terms of the divorce and child custody/contact and go for it, things will then fall in place. An option maybe for you to come back to the UK for a while and deal with it. In that case CS would be 15% of your net income via CSA.

I was married in july 2002, she arrive in uk from pakistan in december 2002. I was working as an IT analyst at that time. we seperated in summer 2006. she is 28 now, i am 38. child is 7 in october. she is systematically withholding her address, telephone, i was not allowed to talk to my kid since last time she told me her mother was hitting her.

I started medicine in oct 2006 in romania, after she moved to london from northwest. I was told by her that she would financially ruin me forever, she will have me investigated and she will have my rights terminated by court and disappear after changing her name and kids name.. etc etc
we have been separated since 2006 ... i have been doing my medicine.she is living on state benefits in london now

I have just pension in my name at the moment, and an account in a building society. My current account was closed down by the bank in 2006 after getting a lot of charges against it. my brother paid off 5k balance to save me from being defaulted.

I am living on money from other people to support my education. I havnt worked since april/may 2006 i think.

I dont know what to expect .. i have been refused legal aid previously for child contact order and now recently about divorce too as i am not a habitual resident in uk.
what shall i do???

Do i have to deal with financial arrangements now? what can i expect in there.. what can i expect in child custody case? where do i stand on my own?

i also want to find out, what if i do not wish to live in uk anymore and move to start a new life in an other country after my graduation to start work? will i be forced to stay here in uk being a uk national? how could i deal with all the financial issues cross borders? how will the court look at this?

i am financing my education by taking money from my brother and sisters and friends .. not had any job i romania or uk since 2006. what can they ask me in financial disclosure. what documents i need to submit? am i entitled to legal aid or not living in romania for 9 months a year, since i m there and not a habitual resident of uk.

she had 4 years to get on and stand on her feet and to educate herself (open uni or whatever gives u home base learning) ..what would the court consider reasonable for a person aged 28 that seperated 4 years ago and survived with no help from me in that time (perhaps she will use the excuse that on top of her state benefits she was recieving help from her wealthy father in pakistan)... i fear she will never work or do as min as possible and drag me through poverty... i dnt see light at the end of the tunnel ... just questions in my mind and her threats.

and just out of interest, what happens when a person is divorced fr 2nd time... i m really worried abt such things after a bitter first experience.