adultery advice please!!

Hi everyone. My husband left me 5 weeks ago & said he did not have another woman. I have now found out that he has & I know that he has been seeing her for a while. As I cannot prove how long he has been seeing her. Can i divorce him now on the grounds of adultery?

Yes probably
My husband did the same I found out after he left due to the phone bill.
Is he living with her now? Will he deny it?
If he's living with her he is still married so thats adultery. If he admits it that's adultery.
You emotions are probably all over the place and my sol. told me it would be 6 months before I would be ready to divorce him. She was right and my Nisi came through last week.6 months almost to the day. As the petitioner you have a bit more control over the speed of it all. Get yourself a good sol.'
Good luck

Jackie,

You and he are still married so if he is havingsex with her now it still counts as adultery.

So you dont need to show it was happening when u still lived together.

Having said that it is notoriously difficult to prove adultery if the other party wont admit it - short of actual photos of them 'in the sack' or a pregnancy its hard to produce conclusive proof.

So in practice either talk to him to see if he will admit adultery else you are looking at one of the other grounds for divorce such as unreasonable behaviour or 2 years separation.

I'm just in the process of divorcing on grounds of adultery. It can be quite straight forward as long as your husband will admit to the adultery. You do not have to name the other person. If you husband will not admit the adultery it becomes more difficult as you have to have proof of the adultery. My husband wanted to be with the other woman which is why he admitted adultery.

I know this is a painful time for you and it is very early days. It took me weeks to get over the shock but you will come out of this a stronger person. Take care of yourself and take one day at a time. I never thought I would cope after 17 years with my ex but you have a inner strength that helps you through. Take care

Poppie

It seems the grounds of divorce makes no difference to any financial settlement.
If both parties have agreed to a settlement, will it be easier to file under unreasonable behaviour?
What are the future consequences? Does it affect future marriages?

You are correct that the grounds make no difference.
As a solicitor, I always advise that adultery is less "messy" than behaviour, where there is a choice. But some people are touchy about admitting adultery because they assume it makes things worse for them (it doesn't).
An adultery petition has only to say that he has committed adultery with a woman unnamed on or about (date can be after he left).
A behaviour petition has to say he has behaved in a way that you cannot be expected to live with, and then you have to give (a few) specific examples. That is often more of a source of dispute than the two line factual statement that he has had sex with someone else at some time.
If you can't prove adultery (and it is up to you to really prove it, pregnancy is fairly reliable, as are photos/videos, but practically anything else is only circumstantial...!) then if he is openly associating with another woman, that is behaviour, but will take more words to set out. Explain it to him that way?

Thank you, that is really helpful.

I've had conflicting advice from lawyers re whether it is required to disclose the name of the 3rd party.

What I want to know is, what is the point/benefit/reason of naming the 3rd party?
Is it just for the courts to have a name on the documents? One lawyer said she would be 'served papers' if she is named..what is the benefit of this?