Urgent legal advice needed

I am defending UB on my side as it just isn''t true. I have always looked after my wife and family and just cannot accept her claim. It is false.

Even after she had two instances of infidelity during our marriage I somehow managed to find it in my heart to forgive her. I should have learnt after the first occasion and ended the marriage on the grounds of her adultery.

You''re wasting your time, and money, defending UB. If one person considers it unreasonable then it is.

The end result will be the same, you will be divorced, it will just cost you more money, time and emotional energy. You have already stated that you have no spare cash well trust me you will need all the emotional energy you have got in the coming months so save them for the right battle.

If you feel really strongly about it you could always respond that while you agree the marriage is over you disagree with some of the examples given.

I''m representing myself now so no costs to me.
I have agreed to a divorce but not for those reasons

Just to waste time effirt money on this its a waste.
Use it to protect you interest in FMH and get it resolved
with some dignity

Chances are she will add to her petition
Complaining you left toe clippings on the carpet it''s not worth it chise your battels and this is the wrong one

Sulkypants....

It''s a bit more serious than a tube of toothpaste or leaving toe nail clippings about.

Everything I have done is with dignity.

I entirely agree with sulkypants here, no good getting yourself into a tiswas about UB. But it is likely that your ex will claim the costs of the Petition against you and this is something you can do without. We usually advise people in this position to say that the Petitioner is also guilty of unreasonable behaviour and it is '' six of one and half dozen of the other ''. But I would suggest that the best arrangement in most cases is for the costs of the petition to be shared. In financial cases, the normal rule is that each party bears his/her own costs.

It is vital that you keep a cool head. What you must do as a start is to accept that you will have to produce a financial statement ( form E ) sooner or later. If you are going to self rep, you can get a copy of this form and advice as to how to complete it, within this site. And you may as well start the process now, while time is on your side.

Do you accept that the house is to be sold ?

Let''s face it, most houses have some faults and it''s probably better that these are reflected in the price you get. I doubt whether the faults would justify her claim that staying access should be denied, but how do I know ?

I don''t advise on contact issues but I do know that contact deniel - preventing any contact - needs to be challenged vigorously before it becomes the norm.

As has been said, you must get your wife to accept that it is not in her interests to exhaust a good part of the family assets in costs, and it is not in her interests to impoverish the man on whom she may rely for financial support.

LMM

I read your other recent post outlining much of what you put down here and also mentioning her mothers health is declining.

You are in a horrible hole as its obvious that solicitors have put a spanner in the works re your expired offer and divorcing amicably. Somehow you have to put the past in the past in order to get through this.

She is petitioning you and as the descendent you will be liable for the costs of the application and her legal costs. It sounds like her and her solicitors are going to accept nothing less and wont enter into negotiations that you both pay half the costs.

It''s bullying behaviour to state you have been unreasonable about the separation but in your distressed state do your best not to now prove them right.

If you can sign the divorce petition without further delay stating you agree the marriage has broken down but not for the reasons stated.

There is no point defending its a moral issue and courts aren''t interested.

The courts also won''t be interested that you are paying the mortgage as she is paying rental costs.

What is directly behind the aggression right now is your reasonable request to delay matters until you can improve your mortgage raising capacity against her reasonable desire to get divorced before her mother might die and any inheritance not factored into the divorce settlement.

Somewhere there is a path in between for you. As LLM states very soon you are going to need to complete financial disclosure, you also need to bear in mind you are not going to be able to stop her petitioning for divorce.

When financial disclosure is completed unless her mother has already died its very unlikely she will disclose her mothers assets if still alive and equally no point you trying to bring this up.

As LLM has said you need to do your best right now to stay level headed. Accept the petition, complete your financial disclosure and make an offer based on your situation at present.

How much of your pension does your wife want and how would that affect you financially?