Child benefit ? shared residency

Hi Has anyone found themselves in this situation & taken on the inland rev??

My wife left me for pastures greener 4yrs ago & she left the 2 children with me & had little contract for first few months.
I really struggled emotionally & as the benefits were already in her name & I wasn''t particularly in a good place to deal with them she proceeded to receive these benefits when she didn''t even have the children!!!
In the sept of the following year she did transfer the child benefit of my eldest into my name as in her words she thought it was fair!!
We got divorced through the courts & the statement of arrangements stated that both children lived with me at the home address & I was the main carer !
she recently took me back to court to get a shared custody order for my youngest as I had suggested we changed the present arrangement a 2 day on 2 day off arrangement to a solid week block fri-fri
She contested this change but the judge & caff cass found in my favour & I was awarded the change.
My solicitor advised me before the court case that I should have been receiving the child benefit for my youngest & so advised me to apply as I had been main carer.
I Have applied & sent of all the relevant paperwork that she had been claiming fraudulently etc & waited for what seemed like forever!!
The letter came yesterday & feeling confident I opened it only to be told although I qualify for all the criteria for my daughter they weren''t going to give it to me because if they did my ex wife would lose all her associated benefits!!!
Yeah that''s right the ones she wasn''t entitled too anyway!!!!!
I really don''t know where to go from here as it states I can''t appeal and there decision is final!!!
It''s not about the money here it''s about fairness & it seems to me she seems to be able to do what she like legal or illegal & answers to no one!!
Surely if we operate on a week on week off basis that means we have our daughter 6 months each over a year period & there must be a law that says you can''t get child benefit for a daughter you don''t have for half the year!!!!
HELP !!!!!!!!!!

I can understand that you must have have been disappointed with the decision made by the Child Benefit Office.

The onus was really on you to inform the CB office of the change in circumstances and have the CB transferred into your name when it became clear that your ex wasn''t returning; or at least when she transferred the CB of the oldest child into your name, to let the CB office know that you have two children living with you.

there must be a law that says you can''t get child benefit for a daughter you don''t have for half the year

There isn''t; and if there was, then surely this would equally apply to you as it would to your ex?

It could be that claiming CB and probably CTC enables your ex to uphold the shared residence order, rather than her struggling to provide food, clothing, housing, utilities, etc for your daughter when she is with her. It''s not unknown for one parent to claim the CB and associated benefits for one child each when there is a shared residence arrangement in place.

You have said that this isn''t about the money, so perhaps the best thing to do is accept that you can''t appeal, focus on making the shared residence order work for the sake of your daughter, and encourage your son and ex to spend some time together.