Son dropping out of Uni and maintenance payments.

We agreed an amount with my husbands ex wife to pay her about a third of what his court order said in maintenance whilst his son was doing his degree (this was done via email and suggested by ex wife who we think had been told she wasn''t entitled to any maintenance for him through Uni so settled for what she could get). Son lives in New Zealand and started his course in March but we have found out via son''s Twitter, that he''s dropped out after only 6 weeks but is apparently going to go back next March to do a different degree. Neither son or ex wife have officially told us he''s dropped out so had I not been checking his Twitter (I was suspicious that he wouldn''t be able to stick the course)we would never have known. My husband tried to contact his ex wife on Friday to find out what was going on but the phone has been disconnected (they were due to move into a newly built house around now so we''re guessing they have done so but not informed us of new address or phone number). Since he''s now apparently not going to be studying my husband has cancelled the standing order to ex wife and we are waiting to see whether she contacts us when she realises the payment hasn''t been made (I''m sure this will happen as she''s very dishonest and we think would more than likely happily have pocketed the money without a conscience and may try to say he''s still studying) . My husband has also emailed the Uni to find out whether son is still studying or not. I''d like to know whether we are legally obliged to re-start the payments if he does go back to Uni next year or whether by dropping out (or maybe even been kicked off his course)we can stop paying altogether. Bearing in mind the lad could do this a few more times until he decides on a course he can actually stick with and we could be paying for a ''child'' who is well into his 20''s before he graduates.

You have to comply with the terms of any current order. If there is reason to revisit the order you can apply to the court to vary the terms - unless you can agree the variation with the ex and register the new order at court.

A compromise would be to cease payments until such a time as the son goes back to uni at which point the payments can recommence but there has to be a long-stop point otherwise the son may decide not to go back to uni for 5 years and go back as he has nothing better to do. The term should be that payments cease and recommence upon confirmation that he has re-enrolled in next years course and that those payments will continue as long as he remains enrolled.

Charles

is the maintenance by court order, or are you talking about a CSA assessed maintenance which has ended but your husband has continued to pay?

The maintenance was by court order but when son left school in December last year his ex wife thought she was not entitled to any further maintenance (wording of the court order was fairly ambiguous) so asked if we''d pay about a third of what she''d been getting in maintenance to cover travel costs to and from Uni, which we agreed on. We also consulted a solicitor in January who said that as she''d suggested it we should just pay the amount suggested and if at some point she asked for us to increase payments and we refused and she tried to threaten us with the original court order it would probably be over-ridden by the new arrangement. We didn''t ask him what would happen if son dropped out after 6 weeks and whether if he did that and went back the year after to do something else we would need to re-commence the maintenance. Son''s not taking a gap year is he - he''s dropped out and could do the same year after year until he''s almost 30 if Uni''s were prepared to let him try different courses. Surely there has to come a time when enough''s enough, he stands on his own 2 feet like the adult he''s supposed to be and we are not expected to pay after a certain amount of attempts at doing a degree. By the way we found out he''d dropped out last Friday and as yet have not been contacted by ex wife or son to let us know. We still have not been informed of a new address or phone number either. My husband is going to try to email ex wife (assuming she''s not changed her email address too) and ask her to confirm whether he''s still studying and also contact our solicitor to find out where we stand regarding him going back next year and re-commencing payments. If she says he''s still studying she will have to send us confirmation from the Uni and in the meantime we''ll hold onto the payments until we get that. How dishonest though - the way things look at the moment if he''s dropped out she is obviously happy to take money from us to which she''s not entitled to and the fact that she lives in New Zealand means that we''d be unlikely to get that money back at all.