Paying for childrens'' extras

The background is that I have been separated for 2.5 years. We have not resolved the finances yet. My STBX asked me to move out of the marital home. The separation was initiated by herself and not of my choosing. She remains there with our children. Due to my lack of income (self-employed but no income to date whilst setting up new business), I have no home of my own and I am currently living on overdrafts and credit cards. I have had no income now for 12 months. I divide my time between staying with my elderly father and occasional nights at my girlfriend''s home. I have nowhere suitable for my children to come and stay.

I currently pay £100 per month child maintenance, £100 per month towards Mortgage reserve, £68 per month pocket money, £30 per month child''s mobile bill. These are all currently paid from my overdraft which is at its limit. My ex continues to request a contribution of half of virtually every expense for the children, including clubs, clothing, school clothes and outings. She works and claims the usual benefits. Regarding her outgoings the mortgage payment is minimal (£72 pcm) and then she will have the usual bills on top of that. She works part-time (4 days a week, 5 hours a day) and I estimate her total monthly income to be £1700 including maintenance and benefits. The children are 11 and 16. I am not currently in a position to pay these extra requests as I have no income at the present time. To meet these demands to date I have had to sell any personal belongings of value but there is nothing left to sell!

Please can anyone advise as to what my obligations are at this time?

Thank you

you can check your ''obligations'' by keying your details into the governments CMS calculator.

www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance

While you earn nothing child support would be very little £7 ish per week. That''s not going to go down well with your ex and the more you get yourself into debt the longer it will take you to climb out of the hole.

You and your wife and kids need to accept things have changed they may have to use pay as you go phones, if you are tied into a contract for a specific length of time you may find it''s cheaper to let it run it''s course.

Thank you for these replies. I appreciate you taking an interest in my situation.

Even though CSA calculator says I do not have to pay anything until I start to get an income, I pay my ex £100 per month, and help the kids with pocket money etc, as I want to do something to help my kids. However, its been all the other things she has expected me to pay for that I just cannot afford at the moment. Ie: kids clothes, hobbies etc.

My understanding is that in my current position, she can not expect me to pay for all these things; especially as it has put me in so much debt. What is my minimum expectation? Is it just what the CSA guidelines state, based on my income or lack of it?
Any further advice would be welcome.
Thank you.

brutely honest...if you cannot pay, don''t.

You can spend on the kids when they are with you. I would not contribute if you are unable to do so for activities when they are not with you.

best to sort this out now as whatever you agree to now could become the expectation going forward.

Thanks for your reply.

From the responses, it seems that while I do not have an income, then I do not actually HAVE to meet any other commitments. I will still pay her £100 as a sign of good will, and no doubt I will increase in line with CSA when I start to earn again. But regarding the other stuff, I am now going to refuse any other requests she makes for money. From what I have understood, I have no obligation to pay for all this other stuff.

I can''t afford to rent anywhere myself, hence staying with friends and family, yet I have been putting myself into debt to meet all these extra payments she asks for. I think I have been the naïve one here, and its time to start being firm with her.

make sure you keep a record of all gestures of good will in case you need to draw upon this at a later date.