Agonising dilemma where to live

Thanks Nettle and Sky. Part of my problem I guess is that this has all happened so quickly. 8 weeks ago we were a happy family and now we are divorcing and selling the house etc...Due to the suddeness, emotions run high and you simply are not really in the right frame of mind to make massive life changing decisions. My heart says go but my head says stay and just see what it is like - if I can cope.

I can only imagine Nettle as the day draws closer how hard it is. My children have told me that they want to come back to UK with me - but that is them being supportive of me as they know what is going on I think, more than saying what they really want. And that is not practical really.

I am now looking at finding a way to keep this house and spend 2 weeks here and 2 weeks in UK at least for the next 6 months until stbx gets her selfish self sorted out.I can do this as I work for myself and can be based frankly anywhere.

Don't you just hate this crap?

Hi Braveheart. Yes that may work 2 weeks and 2 weeks. As long as you dont get fed up with it. It dont take long to come apart does it? Especialy when your ex has found someone new. In my case it was 6 weeks. I stuck it out for 11 months in total and ny the end of it I was so glad to get out. But I achived everything I wanted to though.

Things will settle down for you in time. Eight weeks is a very short time and you are asking a lot of yourself to make these sorts of decisions with a clear head. You dont and wont have a clear head for some time. It is sh1t mate. But life deals you some dodgy cards at times and you just have to make the best of the cards you dealt. Chris.

Chris, you're telling me!

I saw a great quote this weekend from Chris Evans that went something along the lines of "life comes in two parts and it's how you deal with the interval that matters" soemthing like that. And we are now at the interval I guess.......

I think trying to stay and keeping the children at front of mind is going to be the solution. It will hurt me enormously to be ariund here but deep down there is a wish in me to be here to see how she copes and how her wonderful relationship with Mr Perfect develops. Or doesn't as the case may be.

And the children need every bit of stability they can get their hands on.

Thanks again for your comments

Everyone, I have decided to stay here in the family house, until the divorce is through. My main reason is purely and simply the children. My stbxw pays lip service to them and as her affair has put us in this mess then the least I reckon I can do is give them some stability in the short term by not shooting back to UK asap.

I will give it 6 months here then reappraise. By then eveything may be sorted and my intended move back to UK not so de stabalising.

Thanks everyone again

Braveheart,
I really empathise with your dilemma, and for what it's worth, I think you have made the right, but undoubtedly the most difficult choice. Your kids need you more than ever through this time. I sincerely hope that things settle down over the next six months. Impossible as it is, try to keep civility with the ex - life will be hard enough without additional pressures.
Take care and best of luck with it
Mike