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Providing a home plus maintenance? Is 28% too much

Ferbin
Posted by
Senior Member

31 Jan 13 #377153 by Ferbin

Topic started by Ferbin

Hi,

I am still not clear on whether a non-resident parent is expected to pay for the child''s housing as well as maintenance, is this the case or is it all included in the one amount? Everything - education, a home, clothes, food etc.

The problem is, our costs are currently so high – £1400/month for nursery alone, £1600 rent in the current home (I will suggest she downsize), plus food and clothes etc. This for one child aged two. My wife earned very good money (£90K plus) and we could afford this before, but now she has been made redundant and feels she is getting a poor deal. This is with me being meant to pay £700/month and her having all the other costs, but with her getting 65% of our assets (around £40K).

However everyone I have spoken to (including legal advice I''ve had) has said I am the one getting a poor deal and she will need to adjust her expectations and also once she gets work will be in a far better position financially than me, even with these higher costs.

I want our lovely boy to have a good life and the plan is to have him stay with me 2 nights plus I visit 2 days or more too, but I cannot afford 700 a month, this works out about 28% of my net income. As well as my own rent, bills, and paying for his costs when he''s with me, I will really struggle. I feel I have been too generous and need to reduce it to a more realistic level. Or is this normal?

Advice needed!

maisymoos
Platinum Member

31 Jan 13 #377158 by maisymoos

Reply from maisymoos

You only need to provide child support ( the CSA) have an online calculator so you can work out how much is due.

Any other spousal support unless agreed between you can only be ordered by the court.

I assume nursery costs / childcare costs will now reduce if your ex has been made redundant.

Elphie
Platinum Member

31 Jan 13 #377161 by Elphie

Reply from Elphie

I would disagree that child care costs would decrease now she is not in work - if she is looking for work to return to work she will not be able to remove her child from the child care and then expect to return him once she has found a job. Firstly, it would be very disruptive to the child, it isn''t easy to settle a two year old into nurserry. Secondly, the nursery won''t keep the place open, and quite often you have to have your child''s name down for a nursery place months in advance of taking it up so if she we''re to remove the child from nursery, she might not then have a nursery place to send him back to once she finds a job.

Legally, until there is a Consent Order / court order in place you only have to pay csa rates, no more. However, if you end up going to court you could be ordered to pay more in spousal maintence (which she might use to cover rent / child carer costs etc) if it is deemed your income is considerably greater than hers.

Ferbin
Posted by
Senior Member

31 Jan 13 #377181 by Ferbin

Reply from Ferbin

Thanks. Yes I like the nursery he is at and places are scarce, and disruption to his routine is not something I want.

Its a little complicated due to her redundancy (and she has not disclosed how much her payout was) as i currently earn the only income. However historically she was far and away the main breadwinner, and the high cost of our rented home and nursery and her lifestyle etc are due to this.

I am happy to pay more than the CSA rate of 15% of course, but feel paying closer to 30% whilst giving her 65% of the assets (in addition to her keeping all of her payout, it seems mean to ask for some of that) is actually going too far in the opposite direction and is unnaffordable. If she had to she could move into a smaller property that didn''t cost £1600 a month but has chosen not to. i have done spreadsheets which show on her normal salary and my payments she will live in the same place, have all bills covered and have around 1000/month left over, while I will scrape by to have maybe £50/month left over for contingencies. Seems a little overdone.

Happy to be generous but I feel this is going too far, so need to revise it downwards to something realistic!

Child Maintenance Options
Moderator

31 Jan 13 #377199 by Child Maintenance Options

Reply from Child Maintenance Options

Hello

Thanks for your post. I''m Sarah, the child maintenance Options Consultant. It''s really good to hear that you and your wife have been able to sort out child maintenance between yourselves.

Child maintenance is a contribution towards the cost of bringing up a child and this includes not only such items as food and clothing but also it''s a contribution towards the home that the child lives in and the associated costs of running that home. With a family-based arrangement you can agree between you how much child maintenance is paid, and when. You could agree that your contribution towards the household bills or nursery costs count as child maintenance for your child. In terms of monetary amounts, you can get an idea what your child maintenance payments would be through the CSA using the Child Maintenance Options calculator. You could also use this amount as a starting point for your family arrangement.

I understand that it''s a difficult situation but I would urge you to try and sort things out amicably with your ex-partner, as family arrangements (without the involvement of the CSA or the courts) are usually the best option for everyone involved.

If you feel that a family arrangement will no longer work for you, then you have the option of using the CSA. The CSA works out child maintenance payments using a set formula, which is based on the income of the non-resident parent. Other factors are taken into account (including the number of children that need child maintenance, and if the non-resident parent lives with any other children).15% is the correct liability amount to be paid for one child, If you made an application to the CSA responsibility to pay child maintenance would start from when the CSA contacts the paying parent. If you''d like some more information about how the CSA works out child maintenance, visit www.Gov.uk.

For more information about family-based arrangements and access to useful tools and forms online you can visit www.cmoptions.org, or if you''d prefer a confidential chat you could call the Child Maintenance Options team on 0800 988 0988 (free from a landline).

We also have a web application that you may find useful, it offers help and support to separating families. You can find this at, www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Sorting-Out-Separation.html

Ferbin
Posted by
Senior Member

31 Jan 13 #377204 by Ferbin

Reply from Ferbin

Thanks, yes i am aware of the 15% minimum. I want to pay more, but feel something like £500-550 is more realistic than £700, given an income of £2500 (its 28%).

The problem is my wife pressured me into signing a divorce petition and Statement of Arrangements for Children and division of assets. I had meant to take it away and go over it with my solicitor but signed it and now regret signing it. It was downloaded from the internet and has been submitted.

We have not yet reached the next stage however, and I have legal advice that i can change it as there has been no consent order. But I want to avoid the courts. I need to know if I can try and rearrange it with her now it has been sent, without now going thru the courts.

My intentions were good and so far things are amicable - I want to pay more than the 15% - but have since done some budgets and spoken to people - friends, on forums, solicitors - who all say it is a bad deal for me (she is keeping 65% of assets too) and unaffordable.

I will also be having him stay at my new flat two nights a week and offered to pay for food etc those nights on top of the payments. She feels I am barely paying anything but seems to be living in an unrealistic expectation of what is possible.

esox11
Platinum Member

31 Jan 13 #377222 by esox11

Reply from esox11

The 15% is based on the child staying with mum 7 days a week. if your son is staying with you 2 nights a week i think..... though could be wrong... that you can deduct 2/7ths from the 15%.

Thats the way i understood it anyway?

Remember that the basis for the 15% is that she is contributing a similar amount too. You are not supporting your childs needs alone. You share the costs 50/50. If you feel you can contribute more as a loving and caring father then I would do this adhoc and keep it out of the binding negotiations. Make sure you dont tie yourself to something for many years that could tie you in knots regarding your own living costs.

Get some guidance. Get a solicitor.

Moderators: wikivorce team, rubytuesday, dukey, hadenoughnow, Tets, Shezi, Linda Sheridan, Forseti, Mitchum, WhiteRose, Lostboy67, WYSPECIAL, Bubblegum11

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