Dilemma...opinions sought

Hi all

I am in a situation where I''m 95% sure my ex''s income has changed with regards to CM (it''s dealt with through CSA).
The CM calculation has, for the last 18 months, been based on his pension and nil income from self-employment. The current amount paid is £15 per week. I believe he is now in employment and is winding down his business. He told our son, at their first meet up for 13 months, that he is still looking for work. Out son later checked his father''s FB page and informed me that his dad had mentioned his new job on there.

My worries are that if I ask the CSA to do a review and it turns out he is working then I''m likely to get a load of flak from him. Whilst I don''t care personally what he says about me (water off a ducks back) I do care about how this could affect our son. Quite simply I don''t want him caught up in the middle of it.

If it were a small increase then it wouldn''t be much of an issue, but we''re talking about an increase in income somewhere between 300 and 500 per cent and I currently struggle, financially, to provide everything he needs (I''m in receipt of JSA).

My dilemma is do I tell the CSA and risk rocking the boat or stay quiet and continue to struggle. My son''s feelings with regards his dad is that it would be nice to see him but if not then he''s not that bothered as he''s used to it.

What are other wiki''s opinions, what would you do in this situation? Any thoughts or opinions would be welcome.

What have you to lose?

You have no relationship with your ex and your son sees him once a year.

the assessment is unlikely to go down.

Thank you for your reply, Sarah.

Had problems with the original family arrangement - ex dropped payments drastically with no forewarning or discussion and so trust was destroyed. I didn''t want to go through that type of stress and worry again, hence putting in hands of CSA.
Notifying them of a change in income is only a ''should'' do rather than a ''must'' do according to one of their advisors.

Having slept on it and mulled it over I have decided to contact them tomorrow and ask for a reassessment. As for the potential fallout, I''ll deal with that as and when it happens. Ultimately it''s about financial support for OUR son and it''s wrong for me to have to shoulder that responsibility alone. If I had the funds I wouldn''t mind, but I don''t and it''s our son who suffers in the end.

Feel better now I''ve made that decision.

Hi fluffy,

I am a man who was ''reported'' to the CSA. I have found them to be very helpful.

I think it is more than reasonable to go back to the CSA every 12 months, which you are long overdue!

My ex went there three times in a month which was a little OTT, but I wouldnt mind it being scheduled every 12 months.

le_marv wrote:

My ex went there three times in a month which was a little OTT, but I wouldnt mind it being scheduled every 12 months.

That was the original plan when the CSA was set up, periodic reviews they were called. They couldn''t manage the workload and the idea was scrapped.