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Payments for school activities.

skyliner
Posted by
Premium Member

29 Jan 15 #454846 by skyliner

Topic started by skyliner

I recently agreed a Clean Break Consent Order In favour to my ex which includes my ex to keep children''s savings and using it to pay for children educational needs. I also pay £260 a month for csa and provide for them when they stay with me weekly once overnight and every other weekend and half school holidays. Also my ex keeps all the benefits for the kids.

My ex has requested a payment for my daughters school trip and usually somehow my ex usually makes the kids aware of her request leaving me in difficult situation.

Its not the amount I worry about but the fact that if I pay this small amount it may open a gateway of requests from her as and when.

I would welcome some advice or tactful polite way to give her an answer.

WYSPECIAL
Moderator

29 Jan 15 #454848 by WYSPECIAL

Reply from WYSPECIAL

Tell her politely that you will not discuss money in front of the children and that if she has any requests for money then she should speak to you privately about it not send messages through them.

If you are happy to pay it then do so but like you say this could open the flood gates to more requests.

Child Maintenance Options
Moderator

02 Feb 15 #455114 by Child Maintenance Options

Reply from Child Maintenance Options

Hello skyliner

You mention the Child Support Agency (CSA) and a Consent Order in your post, however, it also sounds like you could have a family-based arrangement in place.

If you do have a family-based arrangement in place, there are no set rules to follow. This type of arrangement can include anything that you both agree to.

If you have a statutory arrangement, such as one arranged via the CSA, you are not expected to pay for anything on top of that. That is not to say that you should not pay for extras if you wish, but you have no legal requirement to do so.

If your Consent Order covers child maintenance, the same rules apply, you are not expected to pay anything above the specified amount.

There are lots of leaflets and tools which are designed to help with negotiations around maintenance on the Child Maintenance options website, www.cmoptions.org.

You can also contact Child Maintenance Options directly for information about all the different options available to you and a more personalised service.

The Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) have a web application, ‘Sorting out separation’. It aims to make it much easier for separating and separated parents (and childless couples) to find the support they need, when and where they need it, and encourages them to collaborate on a range of issues. The link is www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Sorting-Out-Separation.html

Regards

William

le_marv
Junior Member

25 Feb 15 #456852 by le_marv

Reply from le_marv

Hi All,

This sounds similar, but may be not the same as my own.

When we got divorced a consent order was stamped etc. However prior to the divorce and consent order my ex had gone to the CSA and i was paying in line with those payments.

At the time (nov 2013) the solicitor suggested that she was not entitled to anything more, but i could voluntarily pay other things (50% of trips, uniform). This was above and beyond the CSA payment. My solicitor mentioned that it was not enforceable after 12 months anyway. No child or spousal maintenance order was made, and in all other regards it was a clean break.

my ex has over the past few months been trying to get me to pay above and beyond the consent order as well as asking the children to steal things from my house.

As a result I have said that I will now only pay the CSA amount....am I okay with that? or does the consent order still stand for the 50%

Before I start getting more forceful I just want to reassure myself!

TFI
Premium Member

25 Feb 15 #456875 by TFI

Reply from TFI

I think if the school activities are things like residential trips ie activity weeks or skiing where the costs run into hundreds. If you decline to assist it will be the child that suffers not your ex. Being in a similar situation my ex refuses to help and the trip was £800. I think 50:50
In those circumstances would be fair.

le_marv
Junior Member

25 Feb 15 #456879 by le_marv

Reply from le_marv

Hi JustJools.

I agree, i have always paid a lot more than I have to. However even with things like trips i have found that she has insisted that money is due, when in reality it is not due for months, but she wants to have it now.

I would never see the children without, but equally i am not going to have her taking the mickey and asking children to take things.

The last things was to take clothing I had bought only to return it when it was too small, stating that I needed to purchase more.

in the divorce i ensured that she was looked after and got the lions share of things. at the moment the children do not see half the money i send over, but she will tell me that i need to buy things.

it was her choice to go to the CSA (and be told i needed to pay less). I just need the balance to return and her to stop trying to get as much as she can through whatever means she can!

TFI
Premium Member

25 Feb 15 #456892 by TFI

Reply from TFI

Sorry, didn''t mean to sound off but I guess it hit a nerve a little! Sorry you came off
badly so I can understand your reluctance. My kids are older and I''ve yet to get a financial
Settlement and appear to foot the bill for EVERYTHING including the mortgage where my ex and his gf live, school trips and private tutor..he''s on the same income as me with way less outgoings! Anyway, enough of me..if you did help out perhaps get on the parent
email list then you''d see first hand when things are due..should you wish to help that is

Moderators: wikivorce team, rubytuesday, dukey, hadenoughnow, Tets, Shezi, Linda Sheridan, Forseti, Mitchum, WhiteRose, Lostboy67, WYSPECIAL, Bubblegum11

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