Gingerbread - Children Deserve More Report/Finding

My ex hasn't taken any dividends out of his business for nearly 3 years. I can see he has now a substantial amount of money left in his business by looking on companies house. I have sent the evidence to CMS. They also seem to have a very good life style for someone who only earns £9000. A huge extension on their house and several very nice holidays a year.

Sounds exactly like what the Gingerbread findings are trying to highlight.

I'm Paying for the house that the Ex is in with her new partner and full CMS. this has left me in a single room unable to afford my own place to have the kids, if I had started to rent my own place I would of used up any savings in 3 months and would be homeless by now.

The Ex earns £12,000 more than me a year and her new man is well paid as well, (plus £40,000 so household income £84k). I now take home £700 a month this is to include everything from food to TV license and rent. As the kids Dad I get to see them every other Saturday for a few hours if I'm lucky and this only come about because I saved the money to take her to court.

Before I found out about her affair I would cook dinner, bath, read bed time storeys, watch TV, help with homework, put the kids to bed and all the other things being a Dad entails. She is using the CMS to bully me into not having any money at all so I can't do what I want with the kids (for my little girls birthday, which I didn't see her on, I got her about £30 of gifts, her new partner got her a new bike).

Fair in my eyes is both of us looking after the kids 50/50 so money I earn provides a place they can call home with me. I can't remember to last time I read a night time story to my little girl or tucked up my boy after he had a bad dream.

This is the point a lot of women either don't understand or don't want to understand and if we were to match up the two problems, unable to have satisfactory access to your children or missing the "correct" amount of child support I know which problem I would prefer to have and until situations like your own are addressed I could not back additional measures against fathers as it's just completely unbalanced already.

There is unfair stories on both sides. I am happy for my D to see her dad anytime she wants. If he wants to see her more and take her on holiday great! Unfortunately he doesn't. Why do you have to pay for your ex's home? I pay my own mortgage and bills and save the small amount of CMS I get (£90) a month to help my D with college when she goes. Have you been told you have to pay for house on top of CMS? I think it is especially hard for men that are cheated on and then get screwed for lots of money on top of that. Some people are heartless.

Dutchelms and Spinit, thank you for providing a different perspective.

Dutchelm, you situation is clearly unfair and shows equally well that the CMS fails NRPs just as well as it does RPs.

What is clear is that the Gingerbread findings identify a specific problem and nobody is denying that it exists and that there a loopholes which allow *some* NRPs to play the system and their report is good on this point. It has helped highlight this problem and draw attention to this problem.

What equally needs to happen is that the abuse of the system and fairness of the system be reviewed on both sides rather than just presenting one problem from the RPs point of view.

I hope that an independent study will be done into the CMS system to highlight the problems overall and not just present a one sided view.

So what I'm saying is that this report is good and does identify the problems with the system for RPs. But that is all it does. It doesn't go further to look at what the issues are for the NRP and that I think is a shame.

I can now see that there are NRPs suffering at the hands of the CMS much in the same way that RPs do.

Dutchelms, I would be equally gutted if I were in your shoes.

So not all men are CM dodging gits and not all women are money hungry blood sucking leeches! But both do exist.

have a good weekend folks!

There is a loan on the house that needs to be repaid (Which I got to put a deposit and to pay fees to buy the house) plus CMS. CMS are aware of this but it only lowers the weekly repayments by around £6 the loan is £300 a month.

Been saving to take her to court over finances as she is unwilling to talk about any of it.