So confused - please advise

Hi there

I was married in the UK many moons ago - and my ex and I never got around to a divorce. 20+ years later he wants to get married and we''d discussed when it was all fresh that whoever wanted it first covered the costs...

So now he''s remarrying, and has sent over the paperwork - with his prayer he''s NOT ticked point 2 - that he wishes to claim costs from the respondent.

But then on advice ALL the financial order boxes are ticked.

In my paperwork D10(4) it asks if:

In the event of a Decree Nisi being granted on the basis of 5 year''s separation do you intend to apply to the Court for it to consider your financial position as it will be after the divorce?

and then

Even if you do not intend to defend the case do you ­object­ to paying the costs of the proceedings? If so, on what grounds?

I don''t want to slow any of the proceedings down, but I also don''t want to leave myself open to pay for the divorce, since we have an agreement.

And after 20+ years of separation I just don''t really know him well enough to say I can trust what we agreed is what would happen - although I''d really like to think I can trust him.

I guess the fact that his financial boxes were ticked makes me nervous.

Does anyone know if the fact he''s not ticked that box about reclaiming costs instantly puts me into safe territory from being hit up for half of the court costs? Or can you generally interpret how I should respond to those 2 questions given my circumstances?

There are no kids, no property, lawyers or money involved, just a clean split.

With thanks

I see you haven''t had a reply so I will try.

You mut make a distinction between, on the one hand, costs of the divorce itself, and on the other, costs relating to the financial proceedings.

The general rule in financial proceedings is that each party bears his/her own costs, and costs are awarded only in cases of unreasonable or frivolous behaviour on the part of either.

As to costs relating to the Petition itself ; well, the normal practice is the costs may be awarded to one party, usually of course the Petitioner, since (s)he is the one who has incurred the costs. If the grounds are fault based ( eg adultery ) then it''s possible that costs would be awarded. Where the petition is made on the grounds of consent, it''s rare to claim costs because of course, the other party could withdraw the consent unless the claim for costs is dropped.

You might perhaps consider suggesting that it might be reasonable to split the costs of the petition equally.

As to financial claims - well, it''s hard to advise because cases like yours arise only very rarely, and 20 years - that is stretching it. Your ex seems to have survived thus far and so it''s hard for her to say she needs the cash. But it''s normal practice for petitioners to tick all the boxes. I''d sayclaiming after this length of time might be difficult, but of course all marriages leave loose ends when they are terminated by divorce and it may be necessary to sort them out.

The bit about the Court considering your financial position is to cover the case where you may want to ask the Court not to dissolve the marriage because of financial hardship.

LMM