EX getting in debt

Hi just after a little bit of advice.

Me and my ex are still not near a financial settlement.

He is currently paying me £1200 per month for 3 children which is above CSA rates.

His net income per month is £2800, so after paying me this leaves him with £1600 per month to live on.

He refuses to have the children overnight or at meal times as he states he cannot afford to feed them!!

He has told me today that he is £5000 in debt and currently getting further into debt between £200 and £500 per month.

Who is responsible for this debt?? Will it be taken out of the marital pot before division?? I am really worried that because he is living beyond his means that I will somehow be responsible for this.

He has been paying me £1200 for 12 months now and says it can no longer continue. This is a voluntary agreement between us after my solicitor wrote down all household expenditure and my income from benefits as I am on a career break. The £1200 is the difference between outgoings and income.

At the moment I cannot see us making a financial agreement as his only option for me is to sell the FMH. If I do this I cannot get a mortgage as I am not working as moment. There is only approx £120,000 equity in house which is not enough to buy another property. If I sell and keep a lump sum my benefits will cease. My only option would be to move back in with my parents with 3 kids which I am loathed to do.

Incidentally since my ex left he has sold the family car and taken out a new loan for a nearly new sporty car. He also signed up to a gym membership plus various paying dating sites and yet claims to have no money and is getting in debt. He also has a new gf which he wants to buy a new house with so I am just holding things up apparently.

Can anyone give me any advise on this debt he is accruing.

Thanks for reading this far.x

hiya, Do you think you are doing the best you can to support your family? (And I ask that with a very friendly tone) If the answer is yes then relax.

In my case I work PT. My ex is a high earner. He tried repeatly to lay his debt at my door so I asked repeatly to show my evidence of exactly what it was he thought I was liable for so we could sort it out.
My ex sold our family car then lease hired a prestigious car. Took out 3 bank loans totalling 32k and amassed 20k of credit card debt. I am lucky that my ex is in good long term well paid employment so the debt was left at his door.

Can you get evidence of his debt?

I could prove that my ex left me with 1700 in credit card debt only to which I offered to pay £300 which was my share of the family holiday we went on. I then offset it against him not giving me my share of the car proceeds.

It''s all about covering your own bum.

Your sol will give you a figure and fight for you. The Judge will strip it all back. I got rid of my land line cos I had a mobile. Water meter put in. Kids gave up certain clubs, I proved thay went and that they had adjusted their living standards.

Don''t feel pressured to sell up.

good luck

xx

Hi,

I am unsure as to what you mean by asking if i am doing all I can to support my family?

I was on a career break before the marriage ended and have chosen to continue with this as I feel it is in the best interests of the children particularly the youngest who is only 2 and would otherwise be in full time nursery which is a setting which we were both not happy with hence the career break. I do have a return to work date altho this does now not suit my ex''s circumstances.

It is not an ideal situation not being able to secure a mortgage but I am at a loss as to what else i can do.

When my ex left we had no debt so this debt he mentions has all been accrued post split.

I just was after some clarification if this debt would be deducted from the marital pot. I have no proof of this debt as it is all on credit cards which he applied for after he left the FMH.

I think the amount he currently paying is quite high considering his income and so if he could prove that he is debt due to maintaining the family then it could be classed as martial debt.

Does he have housing costs?

As he is voluntarily paying this amount then he could choose to start just paying the cm amount and you would have to apply for a maintenance pending suit to see whether a court would agree he should be paying more before the financial settlement is reached

I think what viv meant was are you claiming all the benefits your entitled too to maximise your income.

hi,
thanks for your replies.

Yes I am claiming all the benefits which I am entitled to.

Yes my ex has housing costs - he currently rents a flat.

I accept that what he pays is a large part of his salary, however that is the cost of running our current home. My solicitor at the beginning of the process was confident in me staying in the property until I at least return to work. I understand these payments are voluntarily and would have to apply for MPS should he stop paying - he has paid for 12mths now so I suspect he has been advised not to stop paying this amount.

I would have more sympathy for the debt had he not joined a gym, bought a new car, joined paying dating website and recently informed our son he is going on a holiday with his new gf. Hardly someone who is struggling to feed himself!

I suspect he is clever and has put essential items on his credit card to make it look like the debt is being accrued due to keeping his family and pays for luxuries with cash so no paper trail.

How are you trying to resolve the financial stuff?

Are you going through AR?

Hi, he is paying you £1200, but £500 is towards the joint mortgage and £700 for 3 children. Think that is fair enough, don''t worry about it, just get the AR sorted soon!