Continual character assassination is starting to get to me

We initially tried to be amicable and intended to settle between ourselves but husband got domestically abusive and then got legal representation, withdrew his finances plunging me and my son into financial difficulty for a month, until I could get a small promotion, and he also requested financial disclosure at a similar time.

At the time, I had multiple mitigating circumstances making it difficult for me to be able to achieve a quick turn around of voluntary disclosure. I explained this to both his solicitor and then my solicitor that I would struggle to:
1. Get legal representation fast.
2. Manage filling in the form fast.

Things like learning new job role, death of my mother, getting domestic abuse help, my son's care, my disabilities. But I made it clear I was going to put my best efforts in.

His initial form disclosure was a joke:

• He had not explained or shown examples of the housing needs he had (we well exceeded mine and my adult dependant son).
• Said in one section that he was going to sell his house but it needed £50,000 work done on it (no proof), then in another section said that he intended to rent it out within a year.
• His budgeting needs had random figures that didn't show in his statements. Like saying his current bills cost nearly £2000 but his only bills shown in statements were £400 a month
• No breakdown of money for capital needs
• Then accused me of bad financial conduct because I managed our budgeting and HE didn't contact the bank for a pin to access the app despite me telling him how to (note that he had full access to the bank via my phone/ family computer, had a bank card and was never stopped using it)

Since then, I have requested the disclosure of:

• Where he's living with minimal bills (not said but I think he's cohabiting with affair partner)
• 2 bank accounts I know about but he didn't declare.
• Disclosure of car due to not stating one but having clear statements of tax, insurance and petrol.
• A valuation of his second house.

He has requested disclosure of:

• Our son's full medical reports and treatments
• Proof he needs care
• Proof I am stable enough to give him care
• HIS 12 month bank statements

(All things our son has dealt with for years prior to our marriage breakdown, so my ex knows this all exists and is legit. My vulnerable disabled adult son is included in our financial settlement purely on the basis that he will continue to live with me, so I need a two bedroom house)

• Proof that my disabilities actually disable me and claiming I can make more than I do, despite having not been able to for 10+ years.
• Tried to say my old car (135k mileage, 3 failed MOTs, part exchanged for £100, newer but still reasonable £ replacement) was worth £4000 and I'm intentionally depleting assets.
• Further doubled down on bad financial conduct as I paid my income in throughout the month (to keep it topped up) rather than it being paid directly in - since we were married 27 years ago pretty much. On this basis, requesting a further 7 previous months of statements? As his solicitor believes I'm not credible and I delayed getting the VOLUNTARY form E done due to "hiding assets in those 2.5 months between getting the form, finding representation, filling the form". So I still don't know why they've asked for 7 months.
• Demanding to know whether or not I want to keep the current house as he needs to know (he owns a second property that I don't have claim to). I have no intention to disclose any of my proposals until I have a full disclosure from him (suggestion from my solicitor).
• Asked for proof of my recent inheritance, that I had already sent with the initial form e.

And this came after I was rushed into a 2 day negotiation on him picking up personal belongings. Where he cleared an entire room and the shed out, and took personal belongings and my solicitor has tried to get these things back but his solicitor won't back down that he "needs them for furnishing his current place of living"... not sure why he needs a dog gate with no dogs and my specially chosen (for my height) gardening ladder, for example.

I'm just... I'm miserable.
My solicitor is reassuring me and saying a lot of this seems incredibly unhelpful and not pertinent to fill in as I'm not on trial but advising to fill things in if I feel able to.
She keeps reminding me to keep emotion out of it as much as possible and helps me with what I should do next. But then to only ask for things relating to our financial settlement and the response be that I have to deal with getting assassinated like this with no ability to do the same back??? How is this fair???

I have tried to request mediation with safety measures but he saw a mediator and denied doing it and has applied to court. But then in the same vein says he's now lost his job, can no longer pay the mortgage and can't afford to keep doing these back and forth emails???? But is taking it to court???? With £190,000 more assets than I have and no earning capacity restrictions like I have (and have proved)???
Him earning £1100 more a month than me up until now (awaiting proof of redundancy).

It just feels so unfair when all I want is to hash it out, Clean Break and never have to talk to him ever again.

Did a few edits to try make it concise and give as much information as possible. Don't know why I feel a need to give a lot of the information here. Just want to be heard so badly.