What is fair?

Trying to work out a finacial separation with my husband:

Married 21 years, I am 52, husband 50.
Our 2 children aged 12 and 14 live with me in the marital home
Husband "left me, not the children" and rents 2 bed flat, has children 2 nights every other weekend
Marital home worth £750k
Joint pension pot (both final salary schemes) CETV is £863k (pre-Covid-19, now perhaps more like £604k?!!)
I work from home, earn £1000 a month plus £830 a month tax credits and child benefit, which is pretty much what i might expect to earn if i worked full time outside the home.
Husband is contracting and has set up as director of a limited company, pays himself £4000 dividends and £600 salary a month (told a friend he gets £750 a day contracting)
Husband was paying £1000 a month for children and bills but has now stopped and says he will start paying CMS when I agree to his offer.
I am negotiating with neighbour to sell part of family home for £220k (2 pretty listed cottages joined togehter) to downsize and give husband 30% of property so he can put deposit on a house and afford the mortgage. Husband wants me to make this up to £300K so it is more like 40% which he says a judge would more likely accept. Home is my priority - really dont want to give it up.
Husband says he wants children 'flexibly up to 50/50' in a new home near school but they say they dont want to go for more than 3 nights at a time.

Trying to negotiate who gets what pensions based on him taking £300k of equity from the house and currently looks like i'll be lucky to come out of this with half of our assets and the bare minimum CMS amount. Husband says i'm wasting my time on solicitors (wants to do it all as cheaply as possible, which i'm not averse to if he is fair) and refuses to jointly instruct a pensions report even though ive offered to pay for one. My solicitor advises a pension report.
The calculator here with all our income/outgoings: even with 50/50 child access and him servicing a £1900pm mortgage suggests he should pay me £1050/m and I should expect 60% of assets. Is this reasonable? Looks like he is offering me 49% at the moment, saying the house will be an asset to sell when i retire! From all the posts ive read on here husband is setting up the perfect storm! I'd be very grateful if anyone can tell me what I should be asking for based on their experiences. Thank you.

child maintenance is a statutory requirement. It has to be paid by law. Contact the CMS to discuss.

If the way he gets his income means he can hide the true amount he gets, you may want to consider global maintenance which combines spousal and child maintenance. The amount to be paid remains the same even if the child maintenance assessment is artificially low.

If he has the means to provide additional support, a court would expect him to do that rather than you and the children relying on benefits. If he has cut support, you can apply for maintenance pending suit (interim maintenance).

Financial settlement is based on needs first and the means you have between you to meet those needs. His income means he can get a bigger mortgage and is better placed to recover financially. Ideally you should be left in a position where you are mortgage free and have a nest egg for emergencies.

As far as the pension goes ideally it should be divided to provide you both with equal income in retirement.

NB it is perfectly possible/reasonable for you to have a greater share of the house equity to meet your needs and still share the pension 50:50. Are there other assets to consider? Savings? Shares? E

If you have a clear picture of all the figures, it would be worth you investing in a fixed price legal consultation to establish what a court would see as fair. You can do this via the helpline.

Bear in mind that to make any agreement legally binding it has to be approved by a judge. A form giving financial information has to be submitted with the Consent Order. You both have to sign to say the figures are true (so you need to have seen evidence). If the judge is not happy that the agreement is fair, they may ask for clarification. If they are not satisfied they may reject the application.


Hadenoughnow