What is a fair settlement

Hi my husband left a few months ago and I’m waiting for the Decree Nisi! We have started mediation and at financial disclosure stage! I’m not sure I’ve done the future needs correctly! I can’t get it anywhere near my net monthly salary based on potential new mortgage. Roughly £1400 over and that doesn’t include future savings, house maintenance, replacement appliances etc. No idea how much I need to live on my own as always been a family! Any advice welcome! No sense from the calculator!

We are both 50, married 27 years next month and have two grown up children who now live separately (since last summer)! I have always maintained the home and childcare etc. whilst husband built his career and I had mainly part time jobs until last few years when I gave re-qualified and worked full time. We have had a good standard of living (spenders not savers) with 2-3 nice holidays a year and weekends away. Everything we have had been built up during the marriage.

Husband earns £110k fixed equity drawings (self employed basis) plus £6-9 annual bonus and £12k additional benefits as part of package inc. life cover, private healthcare which I benefit from. (Net £6663 pm)

I earn £32.5k (net £1950 pm)

His pension is a SIPP est. CETV £270k mine are active and deferred member pensions CETV total £140k

Marital hone - 4 bed detached House for sale equity around £200k.

Two cars total value £15k and other valuables totalling £10k. Savings £10k.

He has a small equity share of business which is paid for by business loan (taxes and business loan are deducted before net drawings paid).

I have a heart arrhythmia condition which is managed by medication but potentially get worse as I get older or need further surgery. I manage it quite well and whilst I’ll at times currently do not need to take much time off work. I’ve recently been declined critical illness and attempting to go through specialist brokers which I was hoping to use to cover mortgage payments.

I’m looking at smaller 2-3 bed houses of £200-230 and would need a £130 mortgage if I got 50% split of equity, husband is looking up to £300k.

We are still amicable and want to stay that way. Any advice what a judge would see as fair in a Consent Order! I just want an idea to help in negotiations. A 30 minute consultation with a solicitor has suggested I should get most of the equity from the house with husband having a 10% deposit half pension value set up in my own SIPP and £1300 monthly maintenance for life! I think that sounds a lot and we were hoping for a Clean Break if possible! For the record I didn’t choose to end the marriage abs still emotional which is impairing my judgment! Hence the help and advice, I need to think with my head and not my heart!

It seems to me that if you are amicable, then mediation has a real chance of success. It is also much cheaper than going down the formalised court route.

You will need to identify and articulate your needs. You have few constraints on your ability to work so you are right to look at a clean break and even split of capital. And you have the opportunity to work another 15 or so years to maximise pension etc.

Stay amicable if you can and go down mediation route. This appears eminently solvable

I have just been through the system. The judge focussed on on 50/50 despite my age( 64, my lack of pension and health issues. The ex used the savings and spent £20K on lawyers and ran up an overdraft on the mortgage. I get half whats left of the £58K savings (9K left) and half the house value after its sold. I paid for my own lawyers by borrowing . He refused to negotiate and his lawyer was a bulldog too. He ended the 19 year marriage by running off with a 'friend'. I have had lawyers telling me I will be due all sorts as well as telling me I would get 60%. Don't believe a word. the courts are mad on 50/50 and lying is overlooked even when you supply proof, with the judge telling me it was "only a few thousand £. not like he has run off with a Picasso"

I have called a stop to it all and decided to go with half the profits from the house and nothing else. I am going to be more broke in old age than planned, but my head is clear of all the nonsense, my heart is free to heal and my blood pressure has returned to almost normal after 18 months of fear.

If he is amicable, just take half and get away as soon as you can. It's really unfair if you fight. It all boills down to who can afford the best lawyers.

Sorry if this is construed as negative, but I really really have had an awful 18 months, I could have just taken half right at the beginning and saved on anguish, paperwork and lawyers fees.

If you have joint accounts, grab the money in them now. Don't be generous.

x

I recognize so much in what you write. When the thing is finally over I was going to write down some painful lessons and expectations. The comment of 'it's hardly a picasso' is so true. The judges really could not care less - they seek an easy option, they do not appreciate that it is lives and livelihoods at stake, they are not interested in the truth or blatant demonstrable contempt of court. But when it is over there is a freedom and maybe it is only a one bedroom place with a tiny garden and a smaller sum that one needs but it is something that is yours, you will rebuild and you will cut your cloth accordingly and be content with the peace that comes with it.