Divorce or No Divorce

Hi,

Hi
Welcome to wiki, sorry you find yourself here but welcome none the less.
For the moment forget the calculator on this site, it has some strange ideas at times.
You are correct you don't need to file for divorce in a hurry.
For the moment your main focus should be on your relationship with your children and ensuring you have as much contact with them as possible

Take Care
LB

I

I am afraid I sometimes think the Divorce Calculator does more harm than good.

It can be true that a woman can walk away with quite a high proportion of the proceeds of sale of the marital home. But I don't think this is common these days - after all, there is a yardstick of equality. And 80% is a bit steep.

In your case your wife has moved in with another man which, though emotionally hurtful, is to your advantage in a perverse sort of way ; her needs for housing are, for the time being, adequately met. Usually when the wife gets 70 or 80 per cent, there is a reason ; she needs that sort of cash to re-house herself and the children. For the moment, your wife does not have that need.

Now there is little doubt that your wife is going to have some interest in the house after a longish marriage. Chances are 50/50 would not be too far off the mark and if you agree that anyway, there may be no need for a Court hearing ; you can just make an agreement and send it to the Court for approval, it's called a Consent Order.

Now I don't like rushing anyone into divorce, but from a purely financial point of view, make hay while the sun shines.

You see, supposing the cohabitation breaks down. The marital home is in joint names. She will have to vacate lover boy's house. Guess where she will want to go.

The chances are then that she will be allowed back in and you, my friend, will have to leave. You won't lose all interest in the house but you may have to wait before being able to realise it.

So, from a purely financial point of view, my advice is that your best bet is to sell up, split the proceeds, but not 80/20 to her, that is plain ridiculous.
50/50 if you like.

Then get a consent order which will shut out the possibililty of her making a claim against any house you might buy with your share.

This is one of the reasons why I think the divorce calculator can be wildly out. Computers don't think in the way people do.

LMM

There are a few questions to answer,

How old are you both

What do you both earn

What is your pension worth and does your wife have a pension

How long has your wife lived with the other man

How long were you married including cohabitation before marriage

How old are the kids

Are you all in good health

How

The two of you can make an agreement and have it set out in the consent order, providing you both fully understand the ramifications and both take legal advice the judge will probably agree it, if the judge does think its unfair the worst that can happen is the order will remain unsealed, not binding in other words.

As your ex is the parent with the majority of care and earns much less then she should receive more of the assets or some maintenance, in my case my ex wife retained all assets and although this was questioned in court the judge accepted i was not under duress or as mad as a hatter, the order was sealed.

It may be that your wife is prepared to take this because her new partner is able and willing to provide for her, i don`t know.

Your pension is very small by the way so not really an issue.

Maintenance is based on needs and its not automatic, if your wife has no financial need then you don`t need to pay her maintenance.

If you have an agreement its best to try and make it binding, the longer it goes on the more chance for the agreement to break down, if the judge does refuse the order you will probably be given an indication of what the judge expects.