Consent order

Hi,

My ex and I have agreed on a Consent Order where I would get the house with all the equity (and responsibity to pay the mortgage)and he would keep his pension.

As we were about to sign the court order, he has turned around and told me he has changed his mind.

I have been very fair in all of the divorce process but my spouse has decided to make my life missery!

As our hearing has been postponed to give us time to agree before next court hearing can I also change my mind?

Can I start from the scratch and go for half of the house and half of his pension instead? The equity in the house is about 50k and his pension is roughly worth 45k.

I am not entirely sure what is the best deal for me. I need to stop playing nice and start looking after myself. I have two small children (6 and 2) and only work part time. My spouse has a 90k job.

Should I be asking for more? If so what should I be conssidering?

I do not know anybody going though divorce and really do not know what is a good deal and what is not.

Thank you.

dca

Without knowing more about the finances, it is impossible to comment on the fairness or otherwise of what you are proposing.

If you are going to start from scratch again with the negotiations, it is probably a very good idea to go to mediation before you embark on a costly legal process.

We can give you some guidance on what may be fair - bearing in mind you need a home and income - if you can provide the following information:

Ages
Length of marriage – including any pre marriage cohabitation
Children – ages, genders and arrangements for them – i.e. how many nights with each parent.
Incomes – including any tax credits or other benefits
Value of the FMH
Outstanding mortgage on FMH
Pensions (CETV – Cash Equivalent Transfer Value) or projected pension benefits (ie lump sum and annual pension).
Value of any other assets in sole or joint names – this may be endowment policies, savings, investments etc or assets such as
paintings, cars, jewellery (over £500)
Outstanding debts in sole or joint names and when accrued.

Hadenoughnow

Hi,

We have had mediation and agreed on everything but then he has changed his mind - can you see a pattern here? (his reason that time was that he was 'testing waters')


I am 32 my spouse is 36

We were married for 9 years and cohabited for 11. Decree Nisi was granted one month before our 10th anniversary.

Children are 6 and 2. With father every other weekend, week at Easter and two weeks during summer hols. There is a residence order in my favour

My income is roughly 25k that includes spousal maintanence, child benefit and tax credits

My spouses income is roughly 90k

FMH value is about 200k, outstanding mortgage is 140k

I have no pension. My spouses penssion is worh around 45k

My ex also gets car allovence, stock in his company and an anual bonus of about 20k

I have no investments. My children have saving accounts I have openned for them when they were born with my and childs name on it. I have access to it but do not touch the money. That comes to about 8k

He has an isa with 1500 in it

I do not have a car but ex has a car in his name which we have brought together. It is wort roughly 15k

I have a debt of about 18k. Which I run up when we separated and he wasn't paying me plus all my legal costs.

He claims to have a debt of 3k

Any comment would be greatly apreciated.

Hmmm.

There really is very little money here. TBH half the pension is not a good option as things stand. It is a small pot and it will be years before you can benefit from it. Also if you have to raise 25-30k cash now to buy him out, how will you do that?

The priority is housing you - as PWC - and the children.

Is there any merit in selling the FMH and moving to a smaller, cheaper property?

Are you working at all? Do you have any mortgage capability?

What arrangements are there for Spousal Maintenance in the consent order as negotiated?

What about the debt you have accrued - what is the plan for that?

Hadenoughnow

Thanks for your thoughts.

I cannot afford to sell the property and dowgrade as I have a 3 bed house and two children (girl and boy) and I also cannot afford a new mortgage as I do not earn enough.

I get spousal maintanence which covers the cost of my current mortgage. There is a clouse that it will stop within 6 months of cohabiting - not something I am planning to do in the near future.

No one ever mentioned my debt. I just look at it as it is my responsibility. Should I be asking my spouse to contribute toward repayng it? It is true that I had no debt until he has closed our joint account about a year ago and stoped paying me money. Took my solicitors 6 months to get him to court where he was ordered to start paying me but it wasn't backdated as my solicitors haven't filed the paperwork until few weeks befor the hearing. I wish I knew about this website before! I would have done things very differently.

The more I think about it the more I think that perhaps sticking to the original consent order is my best option.