Maintenance when no children involved

Hi. I''m new here. I''ve recently separated after 25 years of marriage (he cheated). I don''t have a regular job & have stayed in our home. He is currently still paying for everything. I don''t have the capacity to be a high earner and wouldn''t be able to support myself completely. I don''t want to lose my home. A solicitor has told me I can claim maintenance as it was a long marriage & I am entitled to a certain degree of the same lifestyle.
My ex isn''t happy about this but he did say before he left that he would ensure I was comfortable financially. Obviously now he is the throes of a new relationship he may feel differently.
I am very scared & stressed with worrying about this. Has anyone else been in a similar situation?

Hi there and welcome

For people to help you further you will need to provide the following information


Respective ages
Income of both parties
Mortgages and any equity
Any pensions of either party
Assets of either party
Debts and liability of either party

SM isn''t automatic and is awarded on a number of criteria which include he needs of the recepient and the ability of the payer to pay. It could be that it is only paid for a set period of time whilst the recepient is in the transmission post divorce.

The lifestyles of both parties will change post divorce and this is natural.

You are doing the right thing by trying to gain employment as it is expected that you should maximise your income. Your stbx won''t be expected to pay for everything going forward. Are you claiming all of the benefits that you are entitled to?

Look after yourself and your health is the main thing

Yes, I have been in a similar situation, except that it was I who was doing the paying.

The issue as to the extent to which it is reasonable to expect a supported spouse to get work is a very controversial one, and the position is not helped by the fact that there is quite a fair bit of empirical evidence that judicial practice varies according to where you happen to live - a postcode lottery, if you like.

It really isn''t helpful to say that it depends on what judge you get, but there is more than a grain of truth in it. My feeling is that it is very likely that you would be awarded SM, but the 64 thousand dollar question is, for how long. I''m afraid there''s no getting away from the fact that divorce almost always involves a reduction in lifestyle for both parties.

Frankly, I think that sooner or later there will be a time when you will be expected to think in terms of seeking work, but I recognise that it''s a bit artificial to expect you to do that just now. So I think that yes, maintenance is a definite possibility for you, and the issue is whether you are awarded it for a time to help you retrain or revive forgotten skills, or whether you will simply be awarded it for life and leave the onus on him to apply to vary at a later stage.

It was in an effort to try and give some guidance to people in a situation like yours that I wrote a rather long article on SM, which in the wiki library but which I''ll attach. But, leaving aside philosophical speculation, I do give one very good and severely pragmatic reason why it''s unwise to look on SM as a lifetime annuity.

Good luck anyway, I know this is a difficult time. But there is life after divorce even though that may not seem very obvious right now.

LMM

Thank you for the support and advice. I have already seen a solicitor who told me I would be entitled to maintenance as I had no idea.
I am very aware that my lifestyle will change but still think I am entitled to a reasonable standard of living. Especially when he has already had two weekends away and a two week holiday abroad since leaving.
If I had a well paid job I would not claim anything from him as being totally independent would be a wonderful feeling. However, I gave up my career to bring up my children and be a wife. I still worked part time for ''pocket money'' and self esteem.
We both want to avoid solicitors costs as we are not rich by any means but have worked hard to achieve the comfortable life we had.
I do have a temporary job over Christmas so that''s a start. There is a chance I may be kept on.
I''m not sure about benefits until I get a permanent job. I will look into it.
Thanks again, much appreciated.

Juliekitten wrote:

Thank you for the support and advice. I have already seen a solicitor who told me I would be entitled to maintenance as I had no idea.
I am very aware that my lifestyle will change but still think I am entitled to a reasonable standard of living. Especially when he has already had two weekends away and a two week holiday abroad since leaving.
If I had a well paid job I would not claim anything from him as being totally independent would be a wonderful feeling. However, I gave up my career to bring up my children and be a wife. I still worked part time for ''pocket money'' and self esteem.
We both want to avoid solicitors costs as we are not rich by any means but have worked hard to achieve the comfortable life we had.
I do have a temporary job over Christmas so that''s a start. There is a chance I may be kept on.
I''m not sure about benefits until I get a permanent job. I will look into it.
Thanks again, much appreciated.

No one knows you financial situation but you.

As LMM has stated it is expected that lifestyles will change post divorce and the aim of the court is for you both to be as independant as possible.

You also will be expected to have looked into all of the benefits that are available and be applying for them now, not when you have a perminant job

I don''t think anyone should feel pressurised into disclosing private financial information on a public forum. My understanding is the question we are asked to address was if anyone was in the same situation rather than an opinion about the outcome. The problem is it can be misleading to compare your own situation to some else''s because each case is treated separately depending on the particular circumstances.

I''m not in the same situation because we had children and I paid SM to my ex-husband. What I can say is there are differing opinions about SM and threads about the topic often turn into a debate about the rights and wrongs of the issue which have little to do with the law.

From the legal POV the starting point is a checklist of factors in s25 Matrimonial Causes Act 1973;

(a)the income, earning capacity, property and other financial resources which each of the parties to the marriage has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future, including in the case of earning capacity any increase in that capacity which it would in the opinion of the court be reasonable to expect a party to the marriage to take steps to acquire;

(b)the financial needs, obligations and responsibilities which each of the parties to the marriage has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future;

(c)the standard of living enjoyed by the family before the breakdown of the marriage;

(d)the age of each party to the marriage and the duration of the marriage;

(e)any physical or mental disability of either of the parties to the marriage;

(f)the contributions which each of the parties has made or is likely in the foreseeable future to make to the welfare of the family, including any contribution by looking after the home or caring for the family;

(g)the conduct of each of the parties, if that conduct is such that it would in the opinion of the court be inequitable to disregard it;

So the resources and potential earning capacities, standard of living, age, duration of the relationship and the financial and non financial contributions of both parties are relevant when determining whether SM is appropriate.

It''s reasonable to expect someone in their thirties to train/retrain and establish themselves in employment after a career gap or working in lower paid jobs to fit around child care for a few years. On the other hand someone in their fifties who has been dependant on the other spouse is unlikely to be able to train/retrain and establish themselves in the employment market before reaching retirement age after a long time out of the workplace or part time jobs.

Clearly the standard of living during the marriage can''t be maintained after divorce but lifestyle is a factor to be reckoned with. Equality in divorce settlements isn''t a mathematical 50% it''s leaving both parties living a similar standard after a long marriage so one party isn''t left disadvantaged by the relationship.

In most cases SM depends on "…the needs (generously interpreted) generated by the relationship between the parties" and the disposable income and ability of the higher income spouse to pay. However case law is quite clear that apart from needs there are two other elements to SM - sharing "the fruits of the marriage" and compensation.

The courts must consider a Clean Break but if SM is appropriate and there aren''t enough assets to capitalise SM a clean break may not be possible. If a term can''t be identified when the recipient of SM can reasonably be expected to become self sufficient the courts can make an order for SM to be paid for joint lives.