Being pressured

Would like someone to put my mind to rest as I am under major pressure to settle financial matters without drawing up a Consent Order. my x and I run a business together, we own 50% each and the deal we have come to is that I will sign my share over to him, but I have said I will not do this until the consent order is signed. he is going MAD about this as he says I have my side of the deal as I have moved into my own house now. the fact that I had to do this as we have two children to care for seems to have escaped him, he just keeps saying I have got the best deal. His OW has quit her job as she has depression and is going to help him with the business and they thought I would have signed it over to him by now. he thinks everything should have been sorted in a couple of weeks even though I was the one that started proceedings and have done all the work for it! anyway he keeps shouting at me with her laughing in background telling me I need to sign business over now and we don''t need a consent order when we have agreed things between us. he spoke to a solicitor and apparently they told him we didn''t need a consent order, he is seeing them again on Thursday with the consent order! even though we are doing a fixed price divorce through wiki.

P.S he has also asked me to write to his solicitor, (which is the only one in our small town making it easier for him to go between work) and tell them I am happy for them to represent him as I used them for my house sale and they are drawing up a will for me at the moment!!! Can you believe that he wants me to write to a solicitor asking them to attack me, yep I''m going to do that aren''t I!!! Unbelievable

I don''t believe any solicitor suggested you divide assets without a consent order, you don''t have a "deal" without one as I''m sure you know, ok so he may have asked can you divide assets without one?, of course you can, but it''s bonkers to do so.

If it''s done the right way it''s simple and cost effective, if you don''t it can become a living hell and drain cash faster than a teenager with a credit card.

Often people say I spoke to a solicitor and he said this and that, ok so show me it on paper?, they can''t, people often hear what they want to hear, or only relay a part of the discussion, or just distort it, talk is cheap as they say.

Don''t do it yet! My husband pressured me into signing my share of the business over to him. I found out afterwards he had already ceased trading and set up another company with the ow as a director and he had started paying her a lot in expenses.

My advice (and how I wish I had heeded it myself):

DO NOT BELIEVE A WORD HE SAYS!!!

Even now I still fall into the trap, so please all feel free to remind me. After years of trusting and believing it is very hard not to, and after all, isn''t the default to believe everything? After all, that is the basis of language and society, but to mistrust the very person who is supposed to have been on your side and want the best for you is particularly hard.

After dealing with lawyers now for some time I would also add:

DONT BELIEVE A WORD HIS LAWYER SAYS EITHER!

Sorry to all you lawyers out there, but that has been my experience. They will find weasel words to represent their client and their clients instructions even if it is inconceivable that they are not saying the opposite to him.

If in doubt, assume he is lying.

It is horrible to have to adopt this attitude, as well as very hard, but gradually my eyes are being opened to just how utterly despicable a person can be. It''s a bit like having a stalker - assume the worst.

Good luck.

Go to a solicitor DO NOT talk to your ex and most certainly DO NOT believe anything that comes out of his mouth

Such nonsense!!