How does it work?

Here is how it goes...

I separated from my partner about 3 years ago, no divorce or any official proceedings. We just thought we are better off if keep some distance. I have been living abroad since then for work reasons and we meet sometimes when I go back to London.



I do have a girlfriend here for about past 2 years and she does not know about my situation. My partner still lives in our property, I didn’t mind as I just wanted some peace of mind and not wanting to go into any legal battle. Also I was hoping that one day we might get back together again.



But now it seems unlikely and I don’t want to keep waiting and would want us to be free and start our new lives. I just cannot bring myself to initiate it as it will be like opening a Pandora’s box and can turn my life upside down. Firstly, I will have to explain it to my girlfriend and not sure how she will take it and then the whole mind-mess of legal proceedings and the wait and then I will get a noticeable decline in my financial well being.



Sometimes, I think to let it be like it is but then for how long. I cannot spend my life like this. If I had a magic wand, I would want to be single and to start again.

But I don''t, so firstly would be good to know how will it work with Finances and splitting of assets? Is it possible to have a some lump sum settlement without going into any legal complications etc?

Thank you for sharing - it wasn''t too scary was it?

Before anyone can answer properly and with any decent information for you - can you please clarify if you are married or you were co-habitating. The use of the word "partner" is confusing.

Sorry, I got too carried away with the PC.

Yes, I was married and no kids.

You will need to open communications with your wife at some point - just evading the situation won''t resolve it or make it disappear into thin air. If you are still in some sort of contact, that will make it a bit easier to start a conversation about the divorce and fiances. I suggest you write to her either by letter or email, so you can take your time setting out what you want to say, and how you want to say it. It will also give your wife time to digest in her own time what you have written.

The division of assets is dependent on a number of factors - mainly the needs of the parties and what there is in the marital pot to share. Our guide on finances is a good starting point:

Guide to Financial Settlements