Mortgage , wife , separation and divorce

Hi , I live in England. My wife left me in January for someone else . We had been together for 16 years and married for 9 .
We have a property in my name only with about £96k equity in it . She has a nhs pention I have none .
When she left me we both had around £25k each in savings , now here''s were im at. She don''t want a divorce till we have been separated for 2 years as she don''t want any blame on her . She also wants to keep her pension and me to give her £20k and I keep the house .
Not a to bad a deal I surrpose but I put £80k deposit down on the house from my previous house when we moved into the property as a married couple .
I am self employed and really need to keep as much of my savings for the future , she is a nurse and earns as much as me , but only works 3 days to my 5 .
We have 2 kids aged 8 and 6 , they spend half the time with me 3-4 nights a week , I gove her £100 maintance a month and she gets all the benefits for them as well ( working tax credits , family credit God knows what else )
I''m not sure if this is a fair deal on my part or not , seems ok but the marital home has only made £16k in the last 8 years and I have no pension . Should I add that I payed for everything for the whole time we were together and she just freeloaded for her whole adult life .
This worry for the next 18 months is doing my head In .
Many thanks stephen

Unfortunately once your married it doesn''t really matter who pays what and where the original money came from its joint assets, so your stbx would be entitled to a share of the house but equally you would be entitled to a share of her pension.

How much is her pension worth?

Personally I would be suggesting giving her half of the house and you having a half of her pension.

I''m not sure what her pension is worth , I know shes had it since she started working in the nhs and contributes 11.5 % of her salary to it . So about 12 years , band 5/6 now .
I''m off to see a solicitor on Friday , I don''t want to be married to her , and would just like her to surrport herself for the first time .
Thanks for the replie

Solicitor surgested a Clean Break divorce . She keeps what''s hers and I keep what''s mine .
I''m gonna wait till we can get a none blame divorce so January 2017 , then tell her what she won''t want to hear
He said she is entitled to 50% of the house but would never get it . And with me having the boys 3.5 nights a week the court would not make me sell my house .
Sothanks for any info M

Your solicitor sounds very confident in saying your wife would not get 50% of the house. Finances usually start at a 50/50 split and money is apportioned according to need and the ability to pay. You will each need to look at your mortgage raising capacities to demonstrate what your ''needs'' are.

The problem in telling her ''what she doesn''t want to hear'' is that she might fight what you want the split to be which could cost an enormous amount of money if it went through court. Far better for you to get everything properly valued and then go to mediation, if you can''t agree between yourselves.

What about going for Unreasonable behaviour, rather than waiting the full two years?

He said that because she earns more than me , has her pension which I''m not sure on the value she don''t need my money .
Ive every prof that I payed everything in the house from day 1 , if she takes me to court she will be paying as well . So that don''t bother me .
I''ll maybe give her a few grand to shut her up but not £20k and the solicitor seems very confident about that.
As for divorce , I don''t mind staying married . Lots of pluses for me , life insurance cover on her pension that I''d get if she died . She won''t change things about the boys while it''s like this , and gives me time to spend some of my money

What are your respective ages and mortgage raising capacities?

offsetting all the equity against pension is certainly a possibility, when that suits both parties aspirations and can be agreed. However if your wife feels a lump sum is more important than keeping her pension in tact she may not agree.

If no compromise or agreement is reached and an application is made for a judicial decision she may be awarded a lump sum and the pension shared. You both "need" to provide a roof over the heads of the children. It''s worth bearing in mind the true value of NHS pensions can be considerably more than the Cash Equivalent Value.

Waiting for two years separation can be the least contentious way to divorce. If you can agree how to share finances a solicitor can draw up a Separation Agreement. Although such an agreement isn''t binding or enforceable it carries considerable weight and a court can make a binding order in the same terms as the agreements if there are difficulties later. A Separation Agreement may give you some peace of mind although that would need to be changed into a "Consent Order" later at additional cost.

In England & Wales consent from the other spouse is required to divorce after two years separation and that may be a problem if someone changes their mind and refuses consent.