He's going to start divorce proceedings, help!

It's coming up to two years since he walked out for his new life and has already started making noises via our son about divorce. I'm not sure if his eagerness to start proceedings has anything to do with the fact that he's going to inherit a hefty sum plus shares in two properties sometime as his family member has terminal cancer or he's sticking to the agreement we made not to do anything for two years to allow me time to get myself mentally prepared.

Given the fact he's not given my feelings a second thought since the day he left, I'm inclinedd to think it's the former!

There is no way on earth I can afford to pay solicitors fees so I'm banking on the fact he'll agree to pay my solicitors fees to get rid of me.

Its not going to be easy to get any truth about his income as the majority of it is no doubt paid in cash or banked in someone else's account, he's currently living with OW number two, working as little as possible (he's self employed) pretending to be on the poverty line, all very nicely engineered to make sure I get nothing from him except the FMH on an interest only mortgage with only 10 years left to run and a whacking great big charging order (in his name only) to be paid out of any equity there is left when I'm forced to sell when the term ends, by which time I will be 65.

Not looking good for me is it!

Were together for 22 years, 14 married before seperation date.

Him
53
Income Unknown, in past years probably around £30,000 profit (£5,000 on paper) I never had access to any bank accounts or paperwork, that figure is ­base­d on tax credit awards that I have seen.

He is living with partner, not sure if it's hers or rented
She works, no idea what she does or of earnings
No idea of debts, probably loads knowing him
Pension, no idea of value but not paid into it since marriage anyway.
Plus
Charging order on FMH of £40,000 for an old business bank account.

Joint mortgage £195,000 but 100% beneficial interest in my name (bought for nominal fee from official receiver in ex's bankrupcy in 2009) Property value approx £230,00 less fees.
One adult child together, lives with me but works with him

Me
55
Basic income £14,000 approx another £3,000 with overtime
Debts 14,000 for a recent car loan

I have cleared £4,000 in mortgage arrears and paid mortgage and all other household arrears we had when he left.

Anyone have any idea how a judge would sort that lot out fairly?
Any input would be gratefully received as my mind boggles with confusion!
Look forward to hearing any suggestions, good and bad.

"Anyone have any idea how a judge would sort that lot out fairly?"

At the risk of sounding facetious, with great difficulty. So the house is worth 230,000 but the debts secured on it are 235,000? Well clearly he can't have any of the house. It he is in line to receive a substantial inheritance, I would be in no hurry to settle finances until he receives it. I think the judge would want to give you some of the inheritance if at all possible.

Lipstickandlollipops wrote:

...a whacking great big charging order (in his name only) to be paid out of any equity there is left when I'm forced to sell when the term ends, by which time I will be 65.

Not looking good for me is it!

Charging order on FMH of £40,000 for an old business bank account.

Joint mortgage £195,000 but 100% beneficial interest in my name (bought for nominal fee from official receiver in ex's bankrupcy in 2009) Property value approx £230,00 less fees.

The charging order is against your husband not you. You bought his interest in the property subject to the charge. Your share remains unaffected. If the house was sold to a third party it may be possible for the charge to be overreached. In any case you would still get your £17.5k.

Sounds like it's best for you to sit tight for now and see if he inherits??

Thanks for the advice, I have thought it would be best to sit it out so to speak until he inherits, it does seem a little hard to take that he's left me with an interest only mortgage hiked up by a £75,000 remortgage 10 years ago to pay his debts and buy a new £20,000 truck, it's almost as if he has been planning this for years, using up every spare bit of equity before walking away into his new life!
The question is....How do I sit tight if he wants to proceed with divorce, what are the implications of ignoring documents. It'll be two years since seperation in a few days time so my feeling is he or his solicitor will be in touch soon!
Help!!!