When will my life get back on track?

Hi everyone - just registered today and any advice would be great!

Decided to leave my wife and mother of our two great kids last March. We just drifted apart and wanted different things and never could reach any compromises on anything that was important to me, went through councelling 3 years ago, got a bit better but we never spent any time together and i was just miserable and so low and lost my self-esteem. We were both unhappy but lost the ability to communicate and so i made the bold decision to say enough's enough and although we did try, neither of our hearts were in it enough to really make a go of it. I moved out to my Mum's a year ago. We talk and see each other regularly and both see that life is now better for us. I see the kids whenever, she met a new man in Oct, I have just stsrted a relationship which feels odd but i am alive again!
I still pay for the house, all bills etc 100% and he stays at the house with his kids sometimes (rents his own flat too) and my new partner has stayed at the house when stbx stays at his place - all very mature and grown up!
She wants a divorce on unr. beh. and i have agreed and we have tried to do as much ammicablly as possible and mostly succeeded.
stbx works part time and is retraining which will take 2 years. Very happy with new man and seems really in love which hurts but is great (after all i left because i wanted things to be better for both of us). My new partner gets on great with my kids. so whats the catch.
1) emotional
After nearly a year of leaving, i still can't come to terms with it, still crying, work suffering, some days you block it out and seem fine, others you just can't cope
2) financial
I am paying for everything and can't have a quality of life with my kids in my own place as i can't afford it. Trying to sort out financed but there is a big gap with the initial advice i have received and what she wants
3) Friends
Our friends and family are through her as i moved away to where we know live 6 years ago and this is where she is from.
4) communication
bearing in mind that this is where we went wrong in the first place, i feel i cannot talk to her about anything ohter than superficial stuff otherwise we go backwards...we are still good friends underneath it all and want to get our friendship back so things aren't awkward and the kids don't suffer.
So there it is, i feel happier for making the decision for the best, but sad for what should have been, and trapped and confused about the state of limbo i'm in.

Any ideas...?

Thanks for reading

Forgive me but you seem to have spent so much time doing the best for your partner and kids that you haven't done the best for you.

I do hope you can try and find a middle path that satisfies you, your stbx and most importantly your kids.

I'm sure others will give you better practical advice but i just wanted to send my best wishes.

Thanks Ephelia

I think that's half the problem! I've always put the needs of my xpartner before mine and it's got me nowhere! I need to find the balance between avoiding being bitter, twisted and suspicious of my ex's needs and doing the best for me and the kids. Whilst at time i can sympathise with the steriotypical attitude of the breadwinner always looses - not fair viewpoint, it creates a battleground and i don't have the energy to fight anymore. Compromise is my middle name, but not my ex's! I still love her and all this hurts so much, despite meeting someone who is completely on my wavelength. I suppose i should be grateful that we are all being mature and avoiding some of the pitfalls on many of the posts i have read.

Onwards and upwards!

it is very difficult if you still love her,but if she has found someonesle it looks as if there is no going back and it should be easier on your finance.do not just go with someone to be even.take your time and make sure that this is who you want otherwise it will be another mistake.good luck